You'll Never Be Whole Until You Lose Control- Spencer Reid

23.) Breathe Deeper

"If you think I couldn't hold my own, believe me, I can
If you need someone to tell you that you're special, I can
Believe me, I can
If you need someone to carry on, believe me, I can
If you think no one is feeling what you're feeling, I am
Believe me, I am
And the groove is slow
seems you're coming on
Breathe a little deeper, should you need to come undone
And let those colors run
Now you're having fun
So do this and get through this, and come find me when you're done
So we can be as one" Breathe Deeper, Tame Impala

*Author's note*
Sorry for the long wait! Work's been crazy and I'm exhausted all of the time. Here's an extra long chapter to make up for it xoxo- aquathyst

Anna

The scent of my conditioner hung in the air as we laid back on my bed, wrapped lazily in fluffy towels. I was half asleep in his arms with an alarm set for just before six o'clock when Becca would be home. We still had time to be just with each other, and I wouldn't take a moment with Spencer for granted. My memory wasn't as good as his- obviously- but I was determined to remember every part of his embrace; the grooves of his finger tips and the prominent laugh lines around his mouth and eyes. A side effect of having very severe anorexia and taking psychiatric medication was having your mind go to complete shit, and I was no different than the statistic. So I committed them each to memory. The warm honey of his amber gaze, the softness of his lips and the way he held me so gently yet so firmly.

I liked just being with him; our bodies hummed in the silence, both of us nearly asleep in the quiet. I savored his heartbeat and breathing. It was easy to be with him, his fingers lazily running through my damp hair as the afternoon light filled my bedroom. I nuzzled closer to his warm chest, fingers tracing little hearts on his bare skin.

He bent his head to press his lips on my forehead. "What are you thinking about, pretty girl?"

"How much I like being with you," I said, propping myself up on my elbow to look at him. His hair was drying in soft curls that I ran my hand through gently.

"I like being with you too," He said, holding my hand against his chest. "You make me feel... safe."

At the time he said it, I thought it was an odd compliment. But I brushed it off, not understanding the gravity of his words because I was a naive and foolish girl in love; who only saw the man as a gallant knight in shining armor, when I should have noticed how dull the metal had become from years of wear. How there were cracks and scrapes in his shield that could never be buffed out. How maybe he needed saving, too.

So I kissed him in response, letting his lips conform to the shape of mine, any worries forgotten.

Spencer

Curled to my side on her couch, Anna was tucked safely in the crook of my arm beneath a fuzzy blanket that had sloths on it, reading a book about witchcraft- Bewitching the Elements by Gabriela Herstik- while music came quietly from the stereo. She had put in a CD by the band Tame Impala, "I know I'm an old lady," she joked, opening the CD case.

"I love it," I smiled at her. I love you.

I read the pages faster than her, to which she had at first been embarrassed about. "I used to be a lot smarter before I burned half my brain cells off by not eating," she had said, face partially shrouded with her hair.

My baby, if only you could see yourself the way I see you. I pushed her locks behind her ear, looking at her porcelain-doll features, "you're incredibly smart, Anna, you just tend to doubt yourself."

She had bit her lip, eyes staring up at me quizzically. "You think I'm smart?"

I had known that the girl hadn't been cherished enough, so I had brought my lips to hers, crushing away all of her doubts. I think you're everything, Anna. I think you're the moon and the stars combined; a piece of glittering cosmos in my hand.