You'll Never Be Whole Until You Lose Control- Spencer Reid

9.) world alone

"I know we're not everlasting

We're a trainwreck waiting to happen

One day the blood won't flow so gladly

One day we'll all get still

Get still." World Alone, Lorde

Anna

I'd never done something so bold in my life.

It was my day off, late in the afternoon as I made my way to the metro. The busy station was hectic as I walked through, and that's when I tripped over my own god damn feet, letting the contents of my purse fall onto the ground.

"Of fucking course," I moaned, kneeling beside the mess. Art pens, various stones and loose mugwort and bay leaves were all on the ground. Maybe it was a sign from the universe that I shouldn't be taking Penelope's advice and go seek out Spencer.

"Let me help you with that," it was a familiar voice that greeted me.

Spencer.

Was my life suddenly a cheesy rom com, or was this a divine moment? I was wondering if the Goddess Aphrodite was watching us right now.

"S-Spencer?" I murmured in a daze; our fingers barely grazing as we reached for the same rose quartz palm stone.

"Anna," He said, pulling his hand back. "What are you doing here? This is my stop, not yours."

"I, um, doing errands."

"You know, part of my job is detecting lies," He scoffed as I picked up a pen and placing it in my purse. "And you're a terrible liar."

I laughed awkwardly, tucking a lock of hair back behind my ear. "Not the first time I've heard that."

"So what are you really doing here?"

"Okay, truthfully?" I scanned the ground to make sure we had gotten everything, and he stood from his crouch, then held his hand out to me. I took it, letting him pull me up as the electric current went though me. He let go too quickly, as if he was sure our touch would hurt me in some way. "I wanted to see you, obviously I wasn't planning to be such a fucking mess. I, um, Penelope kind of convinced me to."

"That sounds like Garcia," He sighed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come," I stared at the floor while straightening my jacket.

Spencer pushed my hair back, touching me as if I were as fragile as a porcelain doll. "No, don't say that."

"What should I say then?"

Spencer pushed my hair back, touching me as if I were as fragile as a porcelain doll. "No, don't say that."

He closed his eyes, brow furrowing momentarily before gazing at me with a torn look; two halves of him fighting a losing battle. "Would you like to go back to my place with me? I... think I owe you an explanation."

I nodded.

Spencer

Statistically, the DC Metro is the second busiest rapid-transit system in the United States, seeing 798,456 rides per weekday. I could have run into anyone; thousands of strangers bustling in and out of the station in a blur.

But she wasn't blurred.

She stood out like color in a film noir. Moonlight in the endless night. I could think of a million analogies but none of them did her justice.

Thick bronze hair cloaking her face, her floral dress touching the floor as she gathered her things up off the ground. Like I was under her spell, seeing her vulnerable to the chaos around her, I couldn't help myself. Too many people could have taken advantage of her in that position... I could make too many excuses to hide my what I really felt.

My Persephone was yet again tasting the deep red pomegranate arils, staining the her white teeth with their deep red juice.

"Let me help you with that," I leaned down to her level.

"S-Spencer?" she looked up at me as our hands grazed as we both reached for a rose quartz palm stone, making an electric shock vibrate through my body. Her big doe eyes met mine, and she truly looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Anna," I said, pulling my hand back as quickly as I had touched her. "What are you doing here? This is my stop, not yours."

"I, um, doing errands."

"You know, part of my job is detecting lies," I chuckled somewhat cynically, picking up a pen and placing it in her open purse. "And you're a terrible liar."

She laughed, tucking a lock of her hair back behind her ear. God, she was so beautiful; the small smattering of freckles beneath her eyes, the rose petal color of her lips... "Not the first time I've heard that," a pink blush was fanning out over her cheeks.

"So what are you really doing here?"

"Okay, truthfully?" she looked back down at the ground to make sure we had collected all of her belongings. I stood up from the ground first, and held my hand out for her to take. She took it tentatively, but once it was in mine, I almost couldn't let go; it felt so perfect. But I did, and it was an instant regret because I felt so empty after. Her eyes fluttered from my face to the ground, I could feel her insecurity. "I wanted to see you, obviously I wasn't planning to be such a fucking mess. I, um, Penelope kind of convinced me to."

"That sounds like Garcia," I sighed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come," she straightened her jean jacket, her hair falling in her eyes once again.

I smoothed her downy locks back, unable to help myself. The blush deepened as I touched her, and she leaned in as my fingers ghosted her skin. "No, don't say that."

"What should I say then?"

I closed my eyes, fighting with myself. The voices were loud, almost all encompassing. Every little insecurity and fear rising to the surface before I met her gaze again, "Would you like to go back to my place with me? I... think I owe you an explanation."

She nodded, unknowingly swallowing the pomegranate arils; sealing her fate.