The Wall

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"Are you breaking up with me?" I ask in a whisper feeling confused and...scared...very... scared.

"What...No!" Jae answers quickly while his eyes go wide.

"I'm just... I want her in my life" Jaehyun answers and grabs hold of my hands in a tight grip but not enough to hurt me, "And I don't want you to misunderstand or think too much into this"

He says with a bit of desperation laced in his voice.

So Jaehyun wants me to be okay with their friendship...

I'm barely okay with their past!

And now I just...accept this friendship?

Of course, I understand what he's trying to say.

I wouldn't want to cut someone out of my life over a breakup... that was a bit extreme. But a whole friendship...

"Does she still like you?" I ask and look at Jaehyun closely for his reaction.

He keeps still before he answers, "I don't know we didn't talk about that".

I look for any signs of Jae being uncomfortable or lying but he does his best to keep a straight face.

"And even if she did, it wouldn't matter" He answers while he begins to trace my jaw with his thumb. "I love you Aria".

I break eye contact with Jae to look everywhere but his eyes.

My thoughts are scrambled right now...

To Jae, it might not matter if she likes him or not, but I know in the future this would become a problem.

What did Yeri expect out of this friendship if she still liked Jae?

Would she see this as a chance for them to get back together?

Would Jae realize he misses her? Kinda like he is already missing her being in his life right now.

Would I ever get over my worries about his past?

Are my thoughts even valid? Or am I being too jealous of a person?

When I remain silent, Jae starts to freak out a bit.

"Aria?" He calls for me while he puts a strand of my hair behind my ear.

I grab his hands and pull them away from my face and offer him a smile. It wasn't a sad smile but it also wasn't a happy one either.

"Thank you for telling me" I keep my voice low.

I didn't know what else to say. I was still physically tired from earlier today but now my thoughts were a mess.

I decide to put my acting skills on display when I fake a big yawn and start to become "disoriented".

I really just wanted an excuse to get out of the car and collect my thoughts, But I knew Jae would take this as some sort of rejection and freak out if I just up and leave.

I knew him well too... In order to make this exit easier, I had to come off as not straightforward. 

Giving one more big yawn, Jaehyun offers me a smile while he nods his head

"I should let you sleep" He whispers.

I give him a smile that was again not one of happiness or sadness just...bland...

"I'll talk to you tomorrow" I whisper and throw in one more yawn.

He kisses me on the forehead before he unlocks the door to let me out.

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