Be la mia Stella (Be my Star)

Chapter 8

It hurts to know that you will never look at me the way I look at you.
- theqoutesmaster.com

Chapter 8: Suplado nga!

Hindi pa man sumisikat ang araw ay mulat na mulat na ang mga mata ko. Ni hindi ko maalala kung anong oras ba ako nagising. Basta't ang unang pumasok sa isip ko ay kung ano ang gagawin ko ngayon para mapansin niya.

Teka, magpapapansin ba talaga ako?

Gagawin ko talaga? Walang hiya-hiya? Asking myself while looking at the mirror.
  

But on the other side of my head tells me na I should do it, na ngayon pa ba ako mahihiya? Na yong opportunity nasa harap ko na? That all I need to do, is just to take and grab it.

I sighed, bahala na mamaya.

After I finished brushing my teeth, I took a bath right away. Pagkatapos ay nagbihis lang ako ng pambahay, iyong oversized shirt and knee-length pants since ito yung damit na komportable talaga ako. Then I exited my room afterwards.

Now, I'm standing infront of Rem's door. A while ago I decided to greet him a good morning. I took a deep breath before knocking.

Knock knock knock knock

I waited but I think he didn't hear it. Hmm I'll try again.

Knock knock knock knock

Still no response, maybe he's sleeping? Hayss, mamaya na lang.  When I was about to walk, I heard the door opened.

"What do you need?" a hoarsed voice said.

I slowly turned to look at him. Nang makita ko siya, literal akong napanganga. Ang ano, ang gwapo-gwapo niya. Iyan ba? Iyan ba ang bedroom look niya? messy hair? half-closed eyes? se-

"Hey"

Ay! right, I forgot he's asking me pala. Lumunok muna ako kahit wala naman talagang mailulunok and took a very deep breath.

"Good Morning, Jeremiah!" I said while smiling widely. Sa ngayon hindi muna kita tatawaging Rem, not now.

He sighed.

"Did you just wake me up, just to say that?" he asked.

"Yes?" nanlaki ang mata ko ng marealize ko ang tanong niya.

"N-nagising k-ita?" I asked nervously.

"Obviously, I woke up due to the noise of your knockings." he said seriously and at the same time hoarsely. I gulped.

"I'm s-orry. I'm really sorry I didn't thought that you were still sleeping. Akala ko kasi you're an early riser. Sorry, sorry talaga." I said while looking at the floor.

"Tss, nevermind. It's done anyway."

"I'm really sorry." I said, still not looking at him. Then I heard him sighed.

"Good morning din."

My eyes widened and my lips parted because of what I heard, did I heard it right? Did he just greeted me? Oh my gosh! I instantly raise my head to look at him but too late, he just closed the door.

I smiled. I'm so happy because this time it's different, he didn't slam the door...

************

 When breakfast came, we ate together in silence. Hindi ako nag-ingay, mas pipiliin kong panuorin ang paggalaw ng adam's apple niya kaysa ang magsalita.

Kinikilig po ako, sobra-sobra sa totoo lang.

Who would have thought that there will be a time na sabay kaming kakain in the same table tapos magkaharap pa?

No one. It's like a product of my imagination.
 

Ako ang unang natapos kumain. Medyo minadali ko, baka kasi hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko at mapasigaw ako at magtatatalon-talon dahil sa sobrang kilig.

Tatayo na sana ako para ilagay yung platong ginamit ko sa sink but then I heard him cough kaya lumingon ako sa kanya.

"Done already? Yun lang yung kakainin mo?" he asked and I just nodded.

"Alright." he added.

Hindi ko talaga kayang magsalita sa harap mo ngayon huhu parang gusto ko na talagang sumigaw at magpagulong-gulong sa kama. That's why I quickly put the dishes I used in the sink and immediately went to my room.

And there I let out all the kilig and happiness I felt earlier.

********

Nang medyo bumalik na sa normal ang pakiramdam ko ay bumaba muna ako. Then I saw Rem in the living room watching something kaya pumunta din ako doon. Oh he's watching anime.

"Hi" I greeted and he just nodded.

"Sauce?" I asked.

"Gamers"

"Season 1? What episode?" I added. He sighed.

"You just came right on time, still on episode 1." he faintly said and sighed again. Hindi na ako nagtanong ulit kasi feeling ko, everytime he sighs pinapamean niya na 'stop asking questions already'.

I didn't blabber any words after that conversation. I just watched silently. There are times na matatawa ako tapos pati din siya pero paglilingon na ako sa kanya ay seryoso na iyong mukha niya.

Pero most of the time ay ako talaga ang natatawa, tapos siya naman ay mag-e-ehem na parang nagpaparinig na ang ingay ko na.

Hahaha ang cute cute niya.

Nang matapos ang pinapanuod namin ay lumingon ako sa kanya. Now he's using his phone, I want to ask him kung mag-a-update na ba siya ng bagong video sa Tiktok but I can't nakakahiya. I sighed.

Humarap ako sa kanya at tinitigan siya. I realized that I will never get tired watching this beautiful view. Ang saya-saya ko, ang saya-saya ko na kaharap ko na siya ngayon, nakakausap at nakakasama.

********

Few days had past and it became my routine, waiting for him to wake up so I'll greet him a good morning. Pag-kakain naman ay hinihintay ko siyang matapos para ako ang magligpit ng pinagkainan namin kasi nahihiya ako kay Yaya Annie.

Pag manonood naman ng mga movies and animes ay kinakausap ko siya, tinatanong ng kung ano-anu though hindi nagtatagal, just short talks. Kasi parang hindi siya sanay na may kumakausap sa kanya but still it's okay, enough na yon sa akin.

Saying goodnight to him, bago ako papasok sa kwarto. Those are the things that I got used to do as the day passes. Akala ko okay na iyon, na doon na magsisimula kaso hindi pala.

Kanina after watching movie ay may itatanong sana ako but he didn't let me continue asking instead he said something that really pained me.

"I really don't like noisy people." he said while looking at his phone.

"R-really?"

"Yeah, and you know what?" he added.

"W-hat?"

"You're noisy." he said as he looked at me and walked away.

Ouch, tangina ang sakit. Shit.

Nakalimutan ko. Nakalimutan kong ako lang pala ang may nararamdaman para sa kanya. Ako lang pala, ako lang pala ang nagmamahal dito.

Tangina talaga.