Be la mia Stella (Be my Star)

Chapter 33

I love you so much and I guess that's enough.

Chapter 33: My love for Jeremiah S. Chu

"Is it really worth it Joe?"

"The tears?"

"The heartaches?" 

"The pain?"

"The sufferings?"

"Is it all worth it?"

I really want to know if everything I did was worth it. If everything I decided was truly worth it.

I want to know if doing those things will lead me into a path, a path that I've been waiting.

The path that I really wanna go to.

The path where I can truly and finally reach that Star.

And I've thought that it was worth it. I believed that maybe after the sufferings, everything will be okay.

But I was wrong.

I did not expect that it was all a waste. That he really did not like me.

That I was just a nuisance all along.

A disturbance.

A pest.

A pest that keeps on bothering him.

Akala ko kasi meron na. Na gusto na niya ako. Kaso tanginang akala, hindi naman pala.

I spent my whole day in my room, crying and reflecting for the things I've did and decided. I realized that I became desperate. A fool. An idiot and stupid.

I don't want to see Rem after what I've heard last night.

I'm deeply hurt.

Tagos sa puso lahat ng sinabi niya.

Siguro kong nakakamatay ang mga salita niya. Ilang ulit na siguro akong namatay.

Tanginang pagmamahal. Nakakamatay.

*****************

Mga alas-sais ng gabi nang naisipan kong lumabas para kumain. Pero bago ako lumabas ay sinigurado ko munang walang natitirang pamamaga ng mata ang makikita sa mukha ko.

Kinatok at tinawag naman nila ako kanina kaso sinabihan ko lang sila na mamaya na at hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko.

Pagkarating ko sa kusina ay walang tao kaya agad akong kumain. Nang malapit na akong matapos kumain ay unti-unti nang umiingay ang sala.

Pagdating ko sa sala ay agad akong nakita ni Kuya Mon kaya agad ko ring iniwas ang paningin ko sa kanya. Pero nilapitan niya ako kaya wala akong nagawa at sumabay s kanya.

"Sali ka! maglalaro kaming truth or dare."

Tiningnan ko ang pwesto nila at nakita kang masayang nakangiti si Rem. Ibinalik ko ang tingin kay Kuya Mon at tumango.

Pina-pwesto niya ako sa gitna nina Claudette at Karylle, at sa harap...ni Rem--Jeremiah.

"Ang rules ay simple lang, kapag nag-truth ka, at mapo-point na naman sayo ang bottle dapat ka nang mag dare. Understood? Bawal SPG ha? And also, one question lang sa truth." Malakas na sabi ni Karylle at nagsitanguan naman kami.