Roguish Women- Tommy Shelby

Two of a Kind

            It took some coaxing to get Kate to fall asleep that night. She had become so paranoid and anxious that they were in danger. Tommy had to get his pistol from downstairs to assure her they were protected. He sat up with her until she dozed off on his shoulder.

Polly arrived at Arrow House the next day at Tommy's behest. She surprised Kate on the back patio.

"Pol, Tom didn't say you were coming."

The older woman smiled. "Don't stand." She said before Kate could get to her feet. "You're pregnant, you don't need to stand for anyone."

Kate smiled. "It's been a while since I've seen you. I'm so glad you've come. I hope not on business?" She was hesitant to ask but she didn't want to find out Tommy was sneaking work behind her back.

"No, purely a social call." Polly sat down in one of the other wrought iron chairs. "Tommy said perhaps you were struggling with a few things."

She swallowed and looked down at her stomach. "I'm like Tommy. I've never been like this before...so stagnant. I've always been working on something or on the run."

"Well, come a few months you won't have the luxury of being stagnant at least for eighteen years. More even. Motherhood doesn't have an end date." Polly said gently.

"I know. I suppose that's why I feel guilty." She admitted. "I can't just calm down and do nothing for a few months. Even for the sake of my own children."

"There's no need to feel guilt. Guilt will get you nowhere."

"I've been guilty so long. For so many things. What's one more thing?"

"When will you give yourself a break? You and Thomas are the same. You take on every little thing. It gets all so heavy and it'll run you both into the ground." Polly took a forgiving but firm voice with her.

The emotions from the night before were spilling over into the day. Even when the frightening shadows and crashing thunder were a distant noise in the past. Even when day broke with a bright blue sky and dew on the grass. Kate couldn't help but cry. "Everything I've been through, everything I did, what's left of me, Pol? What's left of me to be a good mother?"

"What makes you a bad mother?" She replied. "Do you hate them? Will you neglect them? Let them starve? Ignore them when they tell you they love you?"

Kate's nose wrinkled. "Of course not, that's awful."

"Well, then you're off to a better start than some mothers." Polly shrugged; her point proven.

It offered some assurance. But Kate was still uneasy.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Did Polly help?"

Kate wasn't sure Tommy had heard her enter the parlor. His back was to her as she slipped in. She hadn't seen him all day as he'd gone hunting after Polly had arrived and had only gotten back in the late afternoon.

"Polly always helps. I think that's just one of her jobs at this point. God bless her." She went around to sit beside him on the sofa.

Tommy was reading, just another pastime he had to pick up to fill the time. It wasn't particularly enjoyable for him. But it was something to do. "I'm glad she could get through to you. I feel like I can never say the right thing."

"Oh, Tom." Kate touched his cheek tenderly. "Sometimes there's nothing to say. I've accepted that I have to live with the things I've done."