Roguish Women- Tommy Shelby

Untethered

            That night, Tommy went upstairs. He kissed the twins goodnight, letting their nanny take over wrangling them into bed. Undoing his cufflinks, he stepped into the bedroom but found it empty. Usually, at that time of night, Kate would be in bed reading or at her vanity putting curlers in her hair. But the bed hadn't been touched and she was nowhere to be found. Knowing how she got after their arguments, Tommy considered giving her space. But he had an uneasy feeling that something wasn't quite right. He went back downstairs and located Mary who was turning off some lamps for the night.

"Is Kate around?"

"I saw her getting her coat, Mr. Shelby. I asked where she was going but she didn't say."

He sighed. "Make sure the boys stay in bed, I'll be back soon." He grabbed his coat off the rack and went out the front door. The car was still in the drive, so she likely hadn't left the grounds. But there were acres to cover. Tommy first looked in the stables, the horses peeking their heads out to see who was visiting so late. But the tack room was empty.

Tommy trailed along the fences of the horse pastures. He went down the hill and saw a figure in the same field where he had tried to take his life.

The mud had hardened a bit but the hem of Kate's pajama pants was still marked with dirt. Her head slightly moved to the right when she heard Tommy approach.

"Why are you out here?" Tommy asked when he was close enough.

"I didn't think you'd come looking for me." She didn't answer.

"You disappeared, why wouldn't I look for you?"

She turned around and gave him an exasperated look. "Tell me what your end goal is, Tommy." She demanded with no leniency in her voice. "When you're making your plans, what are you working toward? Because there was a point where I thought I knew. But now...now I don't even know anymore. I can't decipher anything you do anymore it all seems so pointless and destructive and-I can't..." She burst into tears, her knees buckling.

Tommy remembered the young woman he had met in France. The one with sparkling eyes, a mischievous smile, and a confident walk. She was sitting on big secrets but she was clever and compassionate all the same. She cared so deeply and fought so hard for those she loved. Whenever Tommy rejected her, she maintained who she was despite the heartache. All this time, he never deserved her. He stepped closer and quietly enveloped her in his arms. "Please, go." He whispered.

Her tears only came harder as sobs wracked her body. "No, I can't."

"Yes, you can, you have to. Kate, I have to protect you from myself."

"Who's going to protect you, Tommy, huh? That's why I've always been here. To love you and protect you when you had no one." Her body trembled with every gasp of air she took.

All he could do was hold her. "Please, Kate."

The night was nearly silent around them as they stood there. How far he'd come since the days of growing up in a cramped building, forced to listen to the noises of Birmingham all night. Had he truly succeeded when all he could hear was his heart beating and his wife's crying?

"It was so simple, Tom, but you couldn't accept it. I hate every bit of it. I hate that fucking house, I hate those fucking guns, I hate that fucking money. I hate it!" As her voice got stronger, her body got weaker and Tommy needed to support more of her weight.

"I'm sorry." His apology was hollow, even he could hear it. "That's why I'm asking you to go. Whatever you need..."

"I need you! Your sons need you!" She cried loudly. "Why can't you understand that? Why can't I just have my husband? How can I heal that fucking brain of yours to see that?"