Sambucky - Figuring out feelings: Book 1, 2 And 3

Chapter 9: Amends

Sam felt disgusting. He had been through so much with Bucky and just then he had thought he was going to stab him. Sam didn't deserve Bucky. 

As a friend. 

Nothing else. 

Sam was in the training room. Not training. He had been but he had stopped after his thoughts had become too much. He had sat down on the floor and looked out at the blue sky. He put his head down. Tears welled in the corner of his eyes. No. Not now. 

*Knock*

Sam turned around. Hoping to see Rhodey or someone he could distract himself wit- 

Bucky. 

Leaning against the doorframe. 

Sam had to stop himself from gasping.

Bucky looked...

Perfect.

Dressed in a light blue jumper that brought out the blue in his eyes and black jeans.

Angelic.

Sam went to stand but Bucky stopped him with a hand. He walked over to Sam and sat beside him on the ground. They sat staring ahead for a minute. Sam couldn't stand it. 

'Bucky I'm really sorr-' 

Before Sam could react Bucky had covered Sam's mouth. Sam's eyes widened but he shut up. He looked at Bucky out of the corner of his eye. Bucky kept his hand over Sam's mouth for a minute and then released him. He took a deep breath. 

'Sam… I'm sorry' 

Sam jolted in surprise and started to speak. 

'Wait wha-' 

'I shouldn't have done that in the car…' 

Sam remembered the drive home and winced. 

'I had a lot on my mind and I know it's no excuse but… I just couldn't… Talk.' 

Sam nodded looking at Bucky. Bucky didn't look at Sam. His gaze remained ahead. 

'I'm just sorting something out in my mind and I'm really confused and I just can't…' 

Bucky cut himself off with a shaky exhale.  Sam turned to look at him. Sam was surprised to see tears. Bucky shrugged and brought his hands up to his eyes and  attempted to hide them. 

'No…' 

Bucky frowned. 

'Stop…' 

Sam grabbed Bucky's hand that was wiping his eyes. 

'Stop hiding your feelings…' 

Bucky paused, his hand in Sam's. 

'You can trust me' 

Bucky froze, still holding Sam's hand near his face. He looked at the hand and tightened his grip slightly. Sam could tell he was exhausted. Sam held Bucky's hand tight. 

'I care about you Bucky... you can't hide from me' 

Bucky's eyes were wide with confusion - like he couldn't believe someone cared about him. He released Sam's hand. 

'So don't pull away' 

Sam held Bucky's gaze. Bucky bit his lip. Sam glanced at his mouth and then up again. Bucky noticed. Sam turned back to the window. 

'Sam… I'm sorry I hurt you… I don't know what's wrong with me' 

Bucky's voice shook. Sam again grabbed Bucky's hand but this time he held it tighter so Bucky couldn't let go. Bucky glanced at their hands and then back up at Sam's face. 

'Bucky don't think about that… Focus on something else.' 

Bucky swallowed. 

'Like what?' 

Sam thought. 

'Like Alpine, Steve, your favourite things or…' 

Sam paused suddenly unsure. Bucky tilted his head. 

'Or even me…' 

Bucky half smiled, embarassed. Sam pretended not to notice. They still held hands. 

'Sam… thank you…' 

Sam smiled. 

'For you Bucky… anything' 

Bucky shook his head. Was Sam actually saying these words or was he imaginin-

Sam suddenly laughed causing Bucky's heart to swell. 

'Come here' 

Sam grabbed Bucky and hugged him. Tightly. 

'I missed you' 

Bucky sighed softly. Happiest he had been in days. 

Whoa. So this was very short.

And doesn't make much sense.

But I hoped you enjoyed it nevertheless.

I'm feeling motivated to edit all these (Because I wrote then a while ago) so I'll publish another today.

Sorry.

Stay safe :)