To New Beginnings.

Trust

Dressing up and preparing myself for school is usually thrilling and relaxing as I pick out my outfit, my makeup and my hair but today it didn't feel as much thrilling as it is every day.
It's the fact that I haven't slept properly today or probably because of the headache I had.
I chose not to take my outfit past the edge, so I simply took the safe side and wore my black denim skinny jeans, a simple black shirt and my black and white cardigan. I then topped them off with black boots and a black bag. What can I say I like black. Today I had something in mind that I really want to do but still have second thoughts about it. Tuesday mornings are always the best but today wasn't quite so due to the number of assignments we had today. I mean the good thing is we got over with Monday which is the worst part of the week.
" Morning " Ales greeted as I joined them on the bar.

" Morning. " I mumbled back as everyone turned to me surprised from my grumpy mood.

" Honey, are you okay? " Anna approached me worriedly as Alex spoke for me.

" Mom you all should go and I'll stay to take care of Hazel look at her she's dying! "
he exaggerated a glimpse of a smile formed my lips.
" I can do it. I made her smile "

" I just feel off today I don't know what it is but I'm not feeling well. " I spoke on my behalf.

" You don't have to go today stay and have an alone day to yourself. " Anna requested.

Believe me, that's the least I would want right now, to be alone.

" it's not that bad. " I lightly smiled before she assigned the boys to leave and notified them that she'll be taking me.

Tyler held eye contact with minute as I spoke to Anna and the way he was staring as if trying to figure out what was wrong.

We waited for a couple of minutes until Maria came so that we can leave the house.
Then turned on the engine she turned to me a comforting smile on her face as she spoke out.

" I know you're going through a tough phase right now but I also want you to know that I'm always here for anything. Name a thing you need and I'll try to provide it. "

I don't think Anna understands that what I need isn't something you can buy. Something that isn't physical more like emotional.

" I know it's just. . " as she paid attention to me as I spoke.

" It isn't something you can provide. If it could be provided I would've done something before but thank you. Lately, sometimes I don't know why I'm depressed. I could be seated happily and out of a sudden, my mood overlaps. It could be a flashback or a certain memory that turns my mood the other way around. "

" Honey, you shouldn't worry about that. That's something we all go through. It's part of us being humans. "

" But not all humans like this. Some find it offensive. "

" you mean like your friends? "

" Well yeah, they can be really helpful and supportive but sometimes I just feel like I can't talk to them. I really do, but there's always this voice inside me that tells me to keep it all to myself. "

" They are your friends for a reason, Hazel. They will understand. "

" I guess- wait. School's the other way around. "
" Who needs school. We need a day out, but hey don't say I just said that to my kids. "

" But I have uh assignments due. "

" Don't worry, I'll take you by the third period. Okay, so I was thinking Starbucks then shopping. "
Minutes ago we were at Starbucks a few moments later we were already headed back to our hell holes. . .