To New Beginnings.

Losing control

                       Hazels P.O.V

I wasn't sure if I was the only one that froze along when I said it was his adoption agent.
When I had the speaker on my ear as the woman spoke, everything silenced around me. Everything simply blanked around me and I don't know- I just couldn't understand what else she said as I was too tangled with the thought or the words.
(Adoption agent)
I was too intrigued to catch the rest of what she had to say because I was too startled to catch it. It just simply didn't make any sense.

Why would he speak to an adoption agent?
Was it that I wasn't good enough for him?
Or was it that he was planning to do it and leave me back here. To leave me here with Andersons as a burden. It's funny, Cloe mentioned I was adopted by the Andersons.
Was he planning on starting a new life leaving me out of it? I mean I know I wasn't his first choice, but would he do that?
I mean did he do that? What else was he hiding from me all this time? Why did he actually leave? Was it really for work?

" Who was it, honey? "

" . . . " I stared off into the blue my anxiety still taking over my nervous system as all of these thoughts rambled deep inside me that I couldn't stop.

" Hazel. " Dad called as I snapped out of it and looked him in the eyes despair flashing from them as I whispered hoping he'd tell me that it wasn't true.

" Your adoption agent. "
Despite I was claiming who called It sounded more of a question as I waited silently for a response.

" I think you'd like it if we spoke outside. " He squirmed unaware of what this was doing to me.

" I- I don't think I want to speak about it dad. Since you wanted to hide it from this whole time. Why now tell me? " I stated acting bold but my hands were trembling under the table as I clutched them into fists to decrease the shiver I had.

" Hazel, this isn't what you think it is. Don't overthink it. " He ordered calmly.

" Overthink it? You have no idea how hard it's been on me and knowing you've been hiding this from me is simply just too much for me to take. You weren't here when I was devastated you've certainly been missing out on everything that's been going on with me just for that?- "
I blurted out quietly yet loud enough for him to hear along with everyone at our table that awkwardly sat there squirming but was topped with the next thing he blurted out.

" I reached out to the agency because of Aaron. "

" What does this have to do with Aar-.
Aaron isn't - " I whispered my eyes beginning to water.

" Kids, go outside we'll be catching behind. " Anna ordered the kids as all of them left including Tyler.

" He can't be dad, I'm sure. He could've gotten adopted once he left us but- "

" We adopted him Hazel before you and Valery came along. This wasn't how I wanted to tell you. I'm sorry- "

" D-does he know? Is that why he left?? Don't tell me that's why he left. Noo "
I cried the tears that were formed in my eyes soon began to trickle down my cheeks.

" This is too much- I can't. You don't know how much Aaron leaving affected me and yet you come up to me right now and let me know that he was adopted and that that was the reason he left us for. It's all your fault and all along I've been living with the burden that it was all my fault. I can't take this.- " I cried walking away as dad called my name but Anna and uncle John stopped him from doing so.

They knew all along. I bet Tyler did too and acted like he didn't like my anxiety.

Pushing past the door the bell rung assigning that I left as I walked out the back door facing them all, my tears still pouring down my face but I didn't care. I turned the other way and continued walking and bawling my eyes out as I stepped further each step faster than the one before along with the footsteps behind me. My eyes blurred and all I could see was a blur of the street and the cars further across the right side of the road as I was about to cross when I was pulled back as the sounds of horns went off along with Tyler calling my name as he held me further from the street.