To New Beginnings.

Lost yet found

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September 27th, 2022
Three days ago,
I sent them off along with every bad memory leaving only one behind, Val.
Three days ago I left the one thing I worked for, the one thing thing I mostly loved has left me for good. I let go assuming It could be easy for the haunts to leave me as well, though they stood still behind me like a shadow.
Three days ago, I saw the betrayal in her eyes as I sent her away not wanting her. I saw the pain she held and the misery that I have put her through. It'll last long for her to remember the worst picture of me yet she doesn't know that I hold onto the worst picture of my past in her eyes.
Her eyes shine of hurt of betrayal while her eyes remind me of my very own.
If only there was a way for me to prove to her that it was never her it was what her eyes held within deep inside.
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Hazels P.O.V

I've read, on and on and yet still feel like I haven't read a page yet until I found the one that made me yet understand but again, lost.
Each page had these words, phrases, pronouns that quite made me lost, it didn't make sense to me.
What did she mean by betrayed you and who is that she's lost in hopes of being forgiven from?
It's given answers that I wanted to reach out to yet it also opened a whole other world of questions, unanswered questions, vague.

I still felt lost and knowing how anxious I'd get if I didn't finish it and complete what I had started so I grabbed it, my phone, wallet and shoes along the way and headed to the elevator.
Before, I used to pray not to bump into anyone for them not to stop me, but today I had nothing else in the world that felt more important to me than the notebook I clutched onto for life and death. I didn't care that someone would stop me and I certainly didn't care if they did cause no one will. This could be the only alone time I could have with mom and her thoughts and that time is sacred to me.
Walking by I only had one intention before barging out, I only had one person that I wanted to acknowledge before I left.
A knock on the door was enough for her to call me in.
" Hey, " I squeaked my voice coming out hoarse.

" Hey darling, are you alright? "

" Yeah, I just wanted to give you a heads up that I'm leaving to the coffee place nearby in case you get worried. "

She kept silent for a sec before she let down the moms side of her get all worried and instead smiled.
" Thank you for letting me know, let me drive you there. "

" I wouldn't want you to tire yourself I can walk on my own. "

" No, you are not. I'll get Tyler to since you are persistent not to tire me. "

" I really need the time alone. "

" I'll make sure for him to take you and drive right back. "

" Thanks. " I had no other excuses for her to let me go so thank you was all I had left.

By the time Ieft and went back upstairs to grab one of Aaron's old denim jackets Tyler was already waiting in the car, his jaws clenched and twitching though instantly stopped as soon as I stepped in the car.

I didn't mutter a single word knowing that's how Tyler wants it to be, he always has I just barged into him like a wrecking ball trying to wreck his walls down only did the ball bounce back at me and wreck me down.

It seemed like I was right, that's specifically how he wanted it since he was quiet the whole ride not glancing my way once. It didn't mean anything to me since I've grown used to his phases and have learned only not to get that close to Tyler.
I forgot it all as soon as I left the car leaving it all behind me and focusing only on what I held in my hand, the black notebook.