To New Beginnings.

Fear of abandonment

————— Hazels P.O.V. —————

Suddenly I felt my anxiousness kicking in reminding me what I was doing here.
I was seated feeling nothing but useless, alone and a burden.
Staring up at the skies I reminded myself of what I mentioned to Melanie and how I emphasized their friendship.
Among all of the beautiful stars, there was a very small star
yet it shined as if it was a heart trying to maintain its heartbeat trying not to give up on itself reminding me of none other than my sympathetic self.
I was like that star, so normal, average and far from the other beautiful stars trying to maintain my heartbeat, but the more stars there are near me the more I feel less capable of being safe and able to contain my breath.

My mind was playing with me making me feel all these kinds of thoughts making me feel vertiginous.
Was it true? Did they want to befriend me or did this come from sympathy?
I didn't know if it was just me, but I felt like my presence didn't matter. Like I was just invited out of politeness.
Who knows, what if Alec invited me without them knowing?
I felt nauseous,
Sweat trickling down my forehead, my hands trembling along with my heart beating rapidly, soon dizziness overcame my system and that's when I realized what was happening.
I haven't taken my pill.
My throat started to close up and my breathing hitched. All I could do was imagine him holding me informing me what to do.

" Hazel, in and out. Inhale the fresh breeze and exhale the toxicants. "

" I'm right here, by your side. Now, all I'm asking is to inhale and exhale slowly one at a time. Awesome Hazel, you're getting there. We're almost done. Now drink this, it'll help. " he soothed rubbing my back in circles while his embrace warmed me leading me into breathing easier. In return, I hugged him deeply before he left me again.

" Hey, it's okay. I'm right here. " I heard his voice, but this time it wasn't his voice yet another. It came from the person holding on to me calming my attack. I shamefully removed my arms around them and slumped my arms to the side feeling so vacuous and dumb for actually assuming it was him that was holding me and not Alec. All this was Alec, but my mind played with my insanity making me assume it was Aaron.

Alec was standing there at my sudden movement and stared back at me as I stared at the bare space with tears still trickling down my cheeks. He stood in front of me to block my eyesight and gave me a look as if asking permission if he could help me, I felt weak making me accept his offer by nodding.
My head began to swirl more and more and my throat began to close up again.
" Alec. " I choked

" shh, don't talk just breathe. Work on containing your breath. In and out. "

" I nneedd mmy pills. " I coughed out.

" where are they? Hazel. Stay with me. "

" mmy "

" your what Hazel? You're what? "

" bbag. " I struggled. As soon as I pronounced the three letter word he didn't hesitate to run upstairs but calling for Blake not wanting to leave me alone at such a state.

" what's wrong with her?? Alec?? "

" Now's not the time to explain just stay with her while I go grab her pill. "

" no, I can't Alec you know I can't. "
Blake hesitated but ended up nodding due to the stern look that Alec gave him before he rushed off.

" Hazel, breathe. " Blake insisted his voice getting lower by the second.

" Hazel, stay with me " Blake's voice echoed.

I was met by silence, darkness surrounding me.

————— Alec's P.O.V ——————