To New Beginnings.

The deadly truth

Hazels p.o.v

Long ago I'd always feel stuck at a certain point in life, and it felt like it was put on hold, the same day, the same fights, the same attacks, and the same routine. Back then, that was what I thought misery though I was wrong. If I could just go back in time and stay there, make it all pause again rather than living such a mysterious hidden life. At times I think, maybe we took it too far with Aaron's disappearance that the love we had for each other disappeared along the way, only was it a test to the love we held as a family.

We had none.

We assumed we did, but only did we share the love we had for Aaron sacrificing ourselves, our lives, and our freedom to live though he was the one to let go, to leave and to abandon us and turn against us forever.

Forever.

Forever, I thought that I would love Aaron constantly even if it meant him leaving us behind, leaving me behind. Now, I cant help but hate him for killing me on the inside, killing what mom and dad had left to share, killing mom causing her the depression she had, and killing dads freedom of life as he's been running all over looking for him when I was too blind with our siblinghood love to notice that dad wasn't to blame, and maybe it was Aaron that I should've all along.

Seth made me promise him that I'd give the journal another read for me to have the chance to read moms words one last chance. I tried, believe me, the longer I gazed into it, the harder it was for me to read due to the sorrowful tears filling my sight. It felt crazy, the notebook gave me the wholesome I dearly missed from mom, but it also made me feel hollow, empty knowing she's now gone. What can these words do me now?? They seemed useless and so I stopped reading, it broke me, and Melanie saw it too. She sat there watching my every move as I sat there blank unable to resist the pain I held inside, I tried to hold it in but the harder I tried the more broken I seemed on the outside.

She stood there for a while observing me as if I was a trigger about to get pulled at, I couldn't blame her. I asked and constantly ask for everyone not to approach me whenever I'm like this, like - like me... She tried to talk to me from afar, trying to make it all seem better but she didn't know that she was reminding of things I myself try to forget.

" Hazel, it's okay that you ran off. It's okay to wonder what went down, but it isn't okay to block your feelings from being felt. You can tell me how you feel and I'll try my best to understand. I'm sure I don't get it, but I never will if you never explain to me how it feels. Help me understand. " She pleaded tears formed in her eyes.

" No matter how much I'll explain, you'll never get it. I myself don't seem to get it. " I whispered.

" Will it make it easier for you if I ask you questions rather than you explain how you feel? "

" I don't know. " I cut her off as she sighed defeatedly making me feel bad that I shut her down.

" I can try. " I lightly nodded changing my made.

" Do you believe he did it? " She started off quietly afraid that I might get triggered.

" I- I don't, he's just not the person to hide something like that, but yet again, he - "

" He hid Aaron's adoption. " She answered for me knowing it was hard for me to say it myself. "

" Yeah, but it was for his sake, our sake. It just doesn't make sense to me that he'll get into a car accident and hide it.... let alone kill a family... Seths family. " I was now tearing up and so was she. It killed me knowing my own father killed a family accidentally and hid it, framing someone else for it and hiding it from us. It killed me more knowing dad was the cause to Seths pain and maybe the reason to why Rose had severe anxiety.