To New Beginnings.

Opening up

After apologizing to Tyler we ended up engaged in a conversation that had to be said then thought and I felt relieved for a bit that I could well, I think I could trust Tyler with my simple insecurities leaving out my attacks part not wanting to sound fragile or what people back home used to call me.
Yes, that is also another reason given, that I'm too afraid that they will think low of me or look at me as a sight of a psychopath which I couldn't agree more of, but it still haunted me.
It was rather hard to interrogate with Tyler. He could let you in a minute then shut you out the second he realizes what he's done. I don't know what it is, it could be a hallucination or maybe he still doesn't like me.
Although, today it felt different.
Both of us were in the need of company yet we happened to find it. His thoughts collapsed with mine. For that whole forty-five minutes, we chose to let the walls down and build new ones surrounding us protecting us from the world that destroyed us, built us the way we are today.
It was like it was us against the world.

The sounds of the bell ringing brought us back waking us up and back to our classes.

" Do you need more time? " I asked as my eyes searched his diving into his beautiful blue orbs. Pause for a sec, did I just say what I think I said? Okay, let's try rewind a bit and forget I never said that.

" I'm good, I'm just going to take these off before he sees me and thinks I'm somewhat a wimp. " Tyler blurts referring to the bandaids on his face.

" No, it still hasn't healed. It has to stay covered for it to heal up. Tyler you- " I was about to negotiate when I noticed that I had to let him trust me and know that I'll stand by so that he doesn't shut me out anymore.

" Here I'll help you. " I smiled as Tyler paused confused with a smug smile on his face.

" Shut up, I'm trying to be helpful. " I narrowed my eyes as I inched up my hands trembling, but were stopped with Tyler's big strong ones.

" I saw your face earlier at the sight of them, my bruises. Is that why you want them covered up? "

" Because I'm afraid? No, but it hurts to see them knowing I'm the reason they're on your face. Plus, I have a weak heart, so I get nauseous at the sight of blood sometimes. "

" So it's like a two in one kinda thing? " Tyler chuckled as he let go of my hands as I traced them over the band-aid slowly tugging it off.

" Something like that. " I smiled trying to maintain my eye set as far as possible from the cut and set them on his eyes.

" I thought I remembered you help me clean up my cuts on my knuckles the other day, but I'm starting to doubt that it was you. "

" Don't remind me of those " I chuckled at my freakout that day.

" Were you nauseous that day? "

" You can say, but I managed to relax. At the brought of the topic, do you mind me asking? " I questioned eyeing him making sure I'm not crossing any boundaries.

" Sure, after all, you deserve an answer. "

" What happened to your knuckles? "

. . . .

" It's okay, you don't have to. " I smiled

" When I get pissed off and my mind isn't stable enough I end up punching whatever thing that comes in front of me, walls, trees. Whatever it is that helps me throw my anger into the punches out on what's in front of me, it helps me calm down, I guess. "

" explains all the cuts that day, you hissed a lot yourself. " I motioned pulling his hand checking the cuts that have been slightly healed.
I traced my cold fingers on his knuckles that had dried cuts, ones that are healed and others that need more time.