Hazels P.O.V
" My anxiety's back. " I spoke up tensing along with everyone else seated at the table. It was hard for them to take in what I just spoke out but little did they know how hard it was for me to finally be able to admit it aloud and how it traumatized me to actually believe it's true, that I'm locked up again.
I didn't want to burden dad with it, but it killed me seeing him act like he's living a joyful life while I cry myself to sleep at nights no one by me but my cries.
Everyone remained silent, silent enough for me to receive their message. It was clear that sympathy reeked off of them and they tried hard to not show it, I took the message but today I just feel like it's the only moment that I can actually express what it really feels like.
As much as I truly cherish being alone at such a time it only felt selfish for me to leave them out on all the fun my anxiety has been giving me. It's time for dad to know that It's not something that will fade out.
" My anxiety's back, and my attacks have gotten worse. I've been trying to refrain myself from having them but it's against my will. The doctor says that there happens to be something triggering me to this point, to the point where it's . It's become severe. "
" You went to a hospital? " Anna turned to me a look of sudden shock yet worry all over her face.
" Yeah, umm I had another attack today which led me to going there- "
" What did he say? " Dad interrupted Anna seeming more like an out burst before he calmed himself while he asked the question again.
" Uhh, uh well he said lots of things. He kept asking me questions that I just didn't quite have the answer to. "
" Wh-what did he ask you? " dad questioned me seeming more like an interrogation.
" When I had it? How and why I didn't treat it? "
" I had no clue, this isn't something you should've kept from us. " Uncle John spoke up seeming serious about the topic.
" Well, I guess I always believed dad was right. That somehow it'll fade away and somehow it's just all in my head. " I chuckled lightly but my heart aching to how deeply those words hurt me for the first time.
" Sorry buttercup. " Dad smiled my way which I nodded to.
" Are you feeling better? " Anna asked me.
" Quite. "
" What else did he say? "
" Um, He said my anxiety is causing me Tachycardia which may not cause any symptoms or complications, but if left untreated, some forms of tachycardia ccan lead to. . "
" lead to h-heart failure, stroke or sudden
c-ardiac death.. "
At this point no one had the words to speak, who am I kidding I didn't. Somehow my voice vanished as I repeated those same words, despite not knowing what they exactly mean I somehow manage to expect the worst from them.
I knew that it was my cue to leave since I spoke what I had in mind and that I can finally leave with emptiness in my chest from the burden I finally let go of and released on dads own chest.
YOU ARE READING
To New Beginnings.
Teen FictionIt all made sense now, the journal, the letters and her death. I was never lost; it was there but I was just too blind to see it.... Her death wasn't a suicide, and he was never lost, he was watching us exactly like the letter Tyler found. " I won...
