Her Inevitable Fall

KABANATA 25

"Miss Valiente....." sigaw ng isang reporter na nakasunod sa akin. "Maiksing interview lang po sana? Mula sa StarTalk."

Pagkatapos nga ng nangyari noong Sabado ay may sumusunod pa ring mga reporters sa akin buti na lang at mabilang na lang sa daliri itong ngayon. Mula nong Sunday hanggang ngayong Thursday ay hindi pa rin sila tapos at pagod sa akin.

Don't they have a life? Hindi ko maiwasang reklamo sa isip. Ay, mali. Oo nga naman, ito ang hanap buhay nila. Ang maghanap ng maiere sa radio at telebisyon. Nakakainis lang na tapos na ako nong Sabado pero sila hindi pa. Nasabi ko na ang lahat ng kailangan nilang malaman at gusto kong sabihin. Wala ng sikretong naiwan lahat ay nasabi ko na mula simula hanggang katapusan. It wasn't easy telling the truth, all of those memories in the past brought me heartache and heartbreak buti na lang at kasama ko sina Daddy and Atticus. They made it less painful.

Pero sobra naman ang mga ito na gustong magbigay na naman ako ng exclusive interview. When will they get tired of me? Fifth day na ito. At sa lahat ng mga pagkakataon after my official press conference na may humahabol at lumalapit na reporters ang parati kong sabi ay maykakatulad na lang. memoryado ko na nga kahit ata tulog at tatanungin ako ng katulad na tanong ang tanging masasabi ko ay yun pa rin.

"I've already said everything that I needed to say and what people needed to know last Saturday. Wala na akong sasabihin. Yun na yun. No more, no less," tuluy-tuloy kong sabi sa reporter habang naglalakad papasok sa entrance ng lobby.

Pagkapasok na pagkapasok sa loob ng lobby ay agad sinirado ang pintuan ng guards. Buti na lang at andito sina Leoben. Siguradong lalamunin ako ng mga yon kung mag-isa lang. Aside from my security personnel, I was also grateful for my Dad and Atticus' presence last Saturday. Mas naging malalim ang hingi kong paumanhin sa lahat dahil kasama nila ako. The press immediately interpreted how my family supports and aid me during the tough times. Even Dad shared with everyone how he agreed for me to disguise under my sister's name, I didn't expect he'll do that.

Pagkatapos magbahagi ng importanteng detalyeng mismong galing sa akin, ay iilang tanong na lang ang hiningi ng mga reporters. Binigay ko na kasi ang mga bagay na dapat nilang malaman bago pa nila maitanong ang mga ito.

I was honest, more than honest that the reality from my words were beyond painful and piercing to my own ears. If being honest will set me free, then I'm willing to accept the pain and shame. After two hours at the conference ang laki ng ngiti sa aking labi. Yes, I was satisfied with the result, maaapektuhan man ang aking company, ang mga kliyente but I know I'm ready to face my work and serve our clients better this time.

Pero kahit na gaano kasaya ang naging resulta ng conference, there's still emptiness within me. Alam ko kung ano ito pero ayaw ko lang i-acknowledge. Kasi naman kasalanan to ng taong nag-promise na mananatili sa tabi ko all throughout the process but in the end nawala sya parang bula.

Sinubukan ko pa syang tawagan for several times in three consecutive days. Hindi para singhalan sya but because I was worried thinking that something bad happened to him without me knowing. I was so ready to forgive him for not being around during my hardest time, and to forgive him for breaking his promises. But all those calls I made parating out of coverage at hindi sinasagot. Kaya in the end I got tired and delete his number from my phone list. If he doesn't care anymore about us then who am I to insist.