Signal of Distress

20 - Live

~ As You Are - The Weeknd ~
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ELIJAH CHAMBERS POV

In need of a break from the world
-River Mitchell

I sit up on the bed while River is sound asleep next to me. Her eyes closed as she lays under the blanket. After a few minutes in the freezing cold shower she calmed down.

I helped her into fresh clothes and wrapped the fresh cuts on her arms. I found the clothes she borrowed from me on New Year's Day and threw them on.

She fell asleep right away. I don't know what happened but it had to be something bad. It was hard to get her to calm down. But a freezing cold shower does wonders. I should know, that's how I calm my anger.

I know she doesn't want me here right now. But she definitely can't be alone. Not like this, not when she's lost. I don't want anything bad to happen to her, I couldn't handle it if anything bad were to happen to her.

My eyes zoom in on the journal on her nightstand. It's opened to a page. I pick it up and stare at the blood stains over the page. But that's not what catches my eye. The poetry she wrote does. I pick up a pen and begin writing.

If I lived tonight the stars would gleam
If I lived tonight the sun and moon would beam

If I lived tonight the world would move on
If I lived tonight nothing would be gone

But if I died tonight the stars would still gleam
If I died tonight the sun and moon would still beam

If I died tonight the world would move on
If I died tonight nothing would be gone

Except me

If I died tonight I wouldn't complete my dreams
If I died tonight I would I couldn't watch the river streams

If I died tonight I wouldn't be able to listen to my favourite song
Maybe I'm meant to stay all along

I'll stay tonight for myself
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Twelve months, four weeks, 365 days
I'll try my best to get out of this torture maze

I don't want her to do anything stupid or anything she'll regret. I put the journal back so she can revisit it later.

I hear a soft moan and look down at her as she starts to wake up. I push her hair back away from her eyes as they flutter open. "Eli?" She mumbles still in a sleeping haze.

"Yeah," I whisper. She slowly sits up and I reach my hand out helping her. "Do you want water?" I ask. Her throat is probably strained from all the screaming. She nods slowly and begins rubbing her eyes.

I reach over to pick up an unopened bottle of water. I opened it before handing it to her. I stare at her like a creep but I want to know what happened. I know it couldn't have been what I said, it's something deeper. But I can't ask that, it's not my place.

She hands me back the water and I place it on the nightstand. "My-" she stops talking and takes a deep breath. "My grandma died," she confesses.

She leans her head onto my chest as. I wrap an arm around her hoping to comfort her. "She was my best friend. She helped me through everything. She was always there for me. She's dead now." I rub her back letting her know I'm here for her.

"I know what it's like to lose someone so close to you. And let me tell you it fucking sucks," I huff out. It's the worst feeling in the world. Especially knowing you can never get them back.