Help Me

Chapter 27

Namjoon's POV:
Y/n was still peacefully sleeping when I woke up. I knew that she would want strawberries when she woke. I had bagged some in the freezer, and put them in the fridge when we got home. It makes sure that the natural strawberry juice is brought out of the strawberries. She loves it that way.

I walked back to her room. She was hugging my pillow. I guess it had my scent on it. She looked so content.

I assume she felt my presence because she opened her eyes and jumped. She clutched her chest, scared. She gasped. "Y/n, baby I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay. I normally just wake up in your arms. I was just surprised."

"I brought you strawberries. Just the way you like them."

"Awe. Thank you Joonie. You didn't have to do that."

"I even got your tiny fork." She loves tiny things. She thinks they're cute.

"Awe. I know I don't say it much, but I really love you Namjoon."

"I know baby. You don't have to tell me. I see your love everyday." She had a giant smile on her face as she ate the strawberries with her tiny fork. Suddenly her smile fell.

"Oh my gosh! Joon we didn't celebrate your birthday. It was on the 12th. How did I forget it?"

"That was the day that we almost were exposed. It's okay baby."

"No! No. It's not okay. I could have at least texted you. I'm so sorry. I will never forget it ever again. How can I make it up to you?" Tears were threatening to fall from her sparkling eyes.

"Baby~ don't cry. You had all of us over for dinner that night, remember? It was so much fun. You don't have to make anything up."

"But you made my birthday so special. I completely ignored you almost all day. How is that fair? You should have told me." She started to talk to herself "No, I should have just remembered. I'm an ARMY for crying out loud. I had one job."

"Baby, please. I need you to breathe right now." I had my hands on her shoulders to make her look at me.
"You never had 'one job'. I read the article. You saved that little girl from an abusive family. And that was the day that we were almost exposed. You were so stressed out. I'm not upset. I just want you to calm down."

"Being stressed isn't an excuse to forget my boyfriend's birthday. You're stressed all the time, yet you made me feel like a queen yesterday. How could I be so useless."

Those last words sent me over the edge. "You are anything but useless! You are dating an idol. That is hard to do. You have to deal with my crazy schedule, the threat of us being exposed, of you having to drop your whole life to be safe. You are so accepting and understanding. I couldn't ask for a better girlfriend.

When we are exposed, you have to change your whole life: quit your job, have a security detail, become famous, get hate, get death threats. Stressed would be an understatement. No one would be able to compare with you. You are perfect."

Tears were streaming down her face. I pulled her into my chest. She wouldn't relax. I could tell that I scared her. She probably had a flashback.

"Y/n. It's Joon. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out. I need you to know that you are safe. No one can hurt you. Okay? Please don't be scared. I love you so much."

Y/n's POV
I was being held against Namjoon's chest. I was tense. He reminded me of my father. The sudden outbursts of anger. The threat disguised as someone who is supposed to love me. This is why I don't trust people. They always break it.

Namjoon got a call. "Namjoon, we need you to come in."

"Sir, I don't-"

"Joon. I'm okay. Go." I whispered to him

"Are you sure baby?"

"Absolutely" I gave him a reassuring fake smile.

"Ok sir, I'm on my way." He hung up the phone.
"I love you baby. I'll be home later." He kissed my forehead and left for work.

My hands started shaking as my heart rate increased. I was pacing around my room. Don't do it. Just breathe. Joonie didn't mean to scare you. He loves you. I kept telling myself, but I didn't believe it.

I grabbed the blade I had hidden from him. Why are you so weak. He deserves better. Who would love someone like you. Your own father couldn't love you. You already have scars. Why not add a few more?

I started dragging the blade across my thighs. Tears were cascading down my red cheeks, but not from the pain. Not the physical pain anyway. I went deeper and deeper, adding more cuts to heal the brokenness inside of me.

I had tissues next to me. I made sure to clean my legs from time to time. I didn't want any evidence on my sheets. Then there was a knock on my door. "Crap" I whispered. I walked over to my door. As I opened the door, I hid most of my body with it.

"Yoongi oppa? What are you doing here?"

"Have you been crying? Don't even think about lying to me." He pushed open the door to see blood running down my thighs. "Oh sh*t. Y/n~ What did you do?"

I started sobbing as my knees hit the floor. Yoongi oppa closed the door and went to my kitchen. He had tissues to put on my legs. "Come on. Let's clean you up."

He picked me up bridal style and brought me to my bathroom. He turned on the faucet to a warm temperature. He searched for my first aid supplies. "Y/n, where is it. You're a doctor."

I could barely hear him. I was still dressed, but I was holding my knees to my chest as I sat in the tub. I was completely zoned out, while tears unconsciously fell from my puffy eyes.

Soon, he found it. He gently removed my arms from my knees. He extended my legs exposing my cuts. "This will sting a little bit. Okay?" All I heard was gibberish. I didn't even feel him put the alcohol on my thighs.

Yoongi's POV:
She was completely detached from reality. I wanted to call Namjoon, but he would freak out. That is the last thing that she needed. If she wanted him here, he would've been here.

I kept explaining everything that I was doing. I knew that she couldn't understand me though. These moments can be debilitating. She wanted to feel something.
I had interrupted her moment. She thinks that I'm mad, but I understand where she is. I just wish that she had reached out for help instead of hurting herself.

I cleaned her wounds with rubbing alcohol. She didn't even flinch. I took some warm water and poured it on her legs. I was flushing out anything that was hiding, or had slipped through the eyes of the alcohol.

I pulled her out of the bathtub and placer her on a bathroom mat. I had a towel that I used to pat dry her legs. I placed bandages on her legs and brought her to her bedroom.

She curled up into a ball while her tears were still falling. I didn't want her to be alone. She was going to be disappointed in herself for relapsing. I went to go clean any blood that was trailed throughout her house...