Help Me

Chapter 32

(It is October btw)
Namjoon's POV:
Pdnim let the world know about Y/n and me last week. We unplugged, stuffing our phones laptops and other electronics into Yoongi hyung's hands. We both bought a burner phone, so the rest of BigHit can contact us, but we won't know what people are saying about us.

"Joon come eat dinner" I walked into the kitchen and back hugged her.

"What's for dinner baby? It smells delicious in here."

"I made kimchi fried rice and steak"

"I'll set the table" I was talking about the coffee table. We were going to watch hospital playlist. It's a medical kdrama. Y/n loves it.

We sat down and hit play. "Aww the kid is so cute. I kind of miss them." I didn't know what to say to her. I felt bad for messing up her life. Being a pediatrician was her dream.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be Joon. It's not your fault."

"I don't think that I'll ever believe that."

"So you're calling me a liar" she was joking

"Of course not baby. You are the most honest person I know."

"Ok then... I love you"

"I love you too baby"

Then fireworks were being shot off. She immediately covered her ears. "Stop. Stop. Please stop." she whimpered. Tears started to stream down her cheeks.

I got her AirPods and put them in her ears. I clicked on my album and turned up the volume. "It's okay. You're okay love" I knew that she couldn't hear me, but that didn't matter.

I wrapped my arms tightly around her small figure and rocked side to side. She hated the sound of fireworks, however, she loved how they looked. Unfortunately it was the anual firework festival in Seoul, so they were incredibly loud.

Her eyes were squeezed shut. All I could hear were her quiet sniffles. Once the fireworks were over, I tried to remove her AirPods. She quickly covered them. "No. No. Don't take them out!!"

I pulled her hands away along with the AirPods. "They're over. They're over. I promise." I pulled her into my chest. She was trying to push me away in order to cover her ears.

All that could be heard was her sobs. It broke my heart. I started to sing my album. I don't know why, but it calms her. 

Once she realized that they were over, she clutched my shirt in her tiny hands. "I'm sorry" she almost whispered.

"Don't be babygirl. You have nothing to be sorry about."

"But I ruined the night."

"No, the fireworks did. The show was just getting interesting. They just had to interrupt. I also love moments like this."

"Like what? Me being hysterical."

"No. Me holding you tight as you allow yourself to be vulnerable around me. I hate that this happens to you. You're too kind."

"I just feel like an awful girlfriend. I forgot your birthday, I have so much extra baggage, and I keep secrets from you."

"Are you kidding? You are the most perfect woman that I could ever ask for. I fell in love with you the first time my eyes landed on you. You are so good with kids, you can handle my work life, you love animals, and I know that you would never cheat on me.

I also know that you love me for me, not for being RM of BTS. That "extra baggage" that you apparently have can help me help others and gives me the opportunity to grow as a person.

You keep secrets because you can't trust, and that is because someone you cared about broke your trust. You hide your true feelings for self preservation, even if you fully trust the people around you.

You let me save the day when you let all of your defenses go. It lets me know that you trust me enough to be vulnerable around me. You are perfect. I need you to feel whole. I love you babygirl."

Tears were unconsciously cascading down her blushing cheeks, as pure amazement shown through her eyes. "I love you too."

"It's late. We're going to bed. I'll turn on the white noise machine."

"Thank you Joon. I mean it."

"I know love."

She started zoning out when we got into bed. I let her be after the series of events had played out this evening. It physically and mentally drained her. I can ask her about it tomorrow.

Hobi hyung is going to update me wether or not people are being rude about Y/n online. I can't have her overwhelmed by everything.

She had her eyes closed, but there was a crease in between her eyebrows. I place my thumb on it. "Go to sleep babygirl. Get your rest."

She immediately fell into a deep sleep. I made sure that water was placed next to us. She gets thirsty at night when she's stressed. I soon went to sleep hugging her waist.