"As a kid I used to hate falling asleep because I was so afraid of the things that would happen in my nightmares that I would turn on every light in my room pull the covers up to my chin and fight as long as I could to defend of the demons that hidden beneath my eyelids but now, I'm more fearful of my world when I'm awake
It's funny how does things change going from finding happiness in the color blue and a bag of gold fish to losing interest in things I have loved for years
I don't even remember the last time I had a good day and it stayed that way
Smiling has become a method of overcoming not a reflection of my feelings I'm obligated like it's something I need to do for the comfort of others
Because when they notice
"are you ok?"
" I'm fine"
"what's wrong "
"Where do I start?"
"Why are you always so quiet?"
"I have nothing worth saying"
"you're so sensitive"
"yeah"
But the worst part is knowing that my pain is hurting the people I love too. So, I try to stuff all my baggage in my back pocket wear a baggy shirt to cover the tears dripping down my leg and maybe they won't see."
