All my friends don't know what to do when I tell them I'm relapsing going under the treacherous waters I can't explain what's going on inside my head but I'm smiling and saying 'I'm not doing well again'they see tears but they don't here the screams they see sadness but the don't see my own mine hurting me when I call them and say ' I can't do this anymore' they ask what happened as if there needed to be a reason I'm burnt out I don't see much beyond this point of drowning physical pain that I have to mask again crying,shaking,throwing up when will I ever feel like enough?
