Devotion [L. S.]

23

AAHHH I changed the cover of the book! I'm scared, I really hope y'all like it!

Thanks to @jenthom18 for your opinion on it!!

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Trigger warning: mentions of an eating disorder

The feeling of his lips against mine will be something I'll always remember. I can taste the salt of a tear on his soft pink lip and I try to absorb it before he has to taste his own sadness. Our lips move against each other as though they were made for nothing other than that.

The feeling of an ultimate high, mixed with the relief of not losing my boy is simply indescribable.

Harry Styles 

So we lay there for what feels like days, maybe even weeks. But there's something so strange and foreign about all of this, I've never felt more at ease, more myself, more home. 

"Can you please stay?", Louis suddenly asked in a honey-sweet whisper voice. 

On moments like this, he looked so pure, but yet so vulnerable. His eyes look up to me, widely open, expressing hope. 

"I'm staying here right now, aren't I?", I ask, not completely understanding his question. 

"No, but like... forever?", he whispers back as he squeezes my hand a little bit. 

"You know I'll be", I whisper while looking deeply into his eyes and squeezing back into his hand. 

He looks at me with a look of confusion as I continue:

"Your life, your voice."

"Your reason to be, my love."

"My heart is breathing for this... moment in time."

"I'll find the words to say, before you leave me today."

Like always with Louis, I didn't know what had come over me, I just felt like it was the time for this. 

"Did you write this?", Louis asks with watery eyes. 

"I did, yesterday when you were asleep", I whisper, while again starting to blush. 

"It's beautiful, Haz", he whispers back while nuzzling his chin into the nape of my neck.

"Thank you", I say while quickly pecking him on his lips. 

"Actually, Haz, how did I get here?", Louis asks with a sudden look of confusion. 

"It euhm- It doesn't really matter, does it? What's important is that you're here now", I try to answer while getting a little nervous. 

"Harry, it does matter. How did I get here?", he asks while sounding a little bit more irritated than before. 

"By ambulance", I just answer, while trying to hide me knowing that I'm being annoying, with a little smile. 

Louis doesn't take it, though. 

"Styles you're going to answer me right now and don't try to work your way around it. You're freaking me out!", Louis says in a tone that could be seen as a little bit louder than usual. 

"I'm freaking you out?!", I try to keep my voice down for the sake of Louis and his current state of consciousness, but it's hard. 

"How was I supposed to feel when I found you, lifeless, covered in your own vomit? I fucking saw you there Louis, I was the one who dragged you to the hospital. I was the one blaming myself for everything that had just happened to you. Let me tell you what, what I felt that night, came pretty close to freaking out, yeah!", I state firmly while letting go of Louis' hand and sitting a bit more up straight.