Rip - Becoming Whole

Protection

"Robert, did you see Sebastian's tattoo?" Rip asked back at the ranch. They were the last ones to be finishing in the stable. Robert helped him with Chip, who as often before had let him know that he wasn't quite ready to be turned in yet. The skewbald had run off on him when just for a split second he let his guard down. It took him a while to catch the horse as well. Chip made a game of it and kept letting him get close and sometimes even pretended to walk towards him only to bolt again every time he got close enough to grab the robe attached to his bridle. It was only last week that he and Jacob debated whether horses had a sense of humour and he claimed that Chip was the perfect proof that they did.

"Yeah", Robert replied. They were on opposite sides of the horse and couldn't actually see each other. "Well, what do you think?" Rip asked. "Well nothing, I think they suit some, they don't suit others. Why are you asking? You want to get a tattoo" the man asked chuckling to himself. "No, ...well, ... maybe", the boy said and when he didn't get another reply from Robert he added, "I was just thinking it might be a good way to cover my scars. What do you think?" he asked.

"Huh", the man offered instead of a reply.

The thought of the scars on Rip's body had always made Robert intensely uncomfortable. To some extent this was because Rip was so very anxious to hide them all the time. He never talked about them or how they got there. They all knew of course and yet they didn't. Despite sharing his quarters with him, Robert never even seen the one on his chest, but his father had described it to him. And yet it was that scar, the one on the boy's chest that was the reason for Robert's intense discomfort, because he had listened in concealed disgust to the man responsible for it, when he described his pleasure in branding the boy and talking about him like a piece of meat.

"Robert? What do you think? Do you think I could pull it off? Would a tattoo suit me?" he asked. The man came out from behind his side of the horse and went around to where Rip was rubbing Chip's body down with a brush. Rip was aware of Robert trying to make eye contact but avoided looking at him, biting his lip instead. Robert sighed and walked back to his side of the horse.

"To be honest, I don't know. I think you probably should wait until your body is fully grown and broadened out a bit. I could imagine a tattoo that looks cool on you now might look ridiculous on you when you are a man. A tattoo is as permanent as those scars are and if you get something that you later don't like, it might be just as difficult to live with", Robert gave him his honest opinion.

Rip was silent. Without seeing him he could sense Rip's disappointment in the reply he had given him. "I can't see myself broaden out much", the boy eventually said from behind the horse. Robert laughed, "you will, you see. Remind me to show you some photographs of Lee and Jamie when they were your age. They were just as skinny and lanky as you are now, especially Lee, and you really wouldn't think that of him now." Rip walked around to Robert' side watching his back as he was bend down cleaning out Chip's hoof. "Really?" he asked surprised. He wasn't able to imagine this to be true but liked the idea of broadening out a bit like Lee or Jamie, who were tall but also broad and strong around the shoulders, not skinny like him, but the thought also made him feel uncomfortable. He was always glad that people told him he came after his mother, who was tall and slender. No one ever commented on him having any resemblance with his father, who used to be known as Big Jim in the area. He was like a bulldozer and he didn't want to be anything like him.

"Absolutely," Robert replied not looking back at Rip and smiling to himself. He let the horse's hind leg down and motioned the boy to get out of the way so he could do Chip's front leg next.

"Those scars really bother you, huh?" he asked Rip who held on to his horse's head gently nuzzling him. "What do you think?" the boy answered dejectedly. Robert let go of the horse's front leg with a sigh and turned around to face the boy. "None of your mates ever seen them?" Robert enquired. "Of course not," Rip replied, letting go of the horse's head and moving back to the other side of Chip as a way to avoid Robert's eye contact. It was his turn now to pick up the front leg on his side and clean the hoof with the hoof pick while Robert stroked Chips' head.