Rip - Becoming Whole

Clouds

"How was school?" Robert asked in an attempt to pull the boy out of whatever mood he was in. Rip's grouchiness had been obvious as soon as he got into his truck. Instead of a response, Rip just shrugged his shoulders and leant his head against the cold glass of the passenger door window, that was speckled with little drops of water from the rain that had just started again. "That bad, huh?" Robert went as he pulled out of the parking spot. Rip shrugged his shoulders again.

It had been that bad. There were two notes in the bottom of his bag from two different teachers. One for not paying attention in class and another for the same thing, with the added bonus of having told the teacher to 'fuck off' when she condescendingly informed him, he had to get the note signed by his parent. He hadn't meant for her to hear him, but seriously, as if he didn't know that already. He hardly got any sleep last night and Chrissy was annoyed with him for still not having asked his uncle about the party on Saturday. And then there was the social worker waiting for him at home.

"Weather is supposed to clear up for the weekend," Robert started the chat he had been planning to have with Rip for a while now. There'd been a growing distance between them of late. Rip had been ill-tempered with him a few times for no good reason it seemed. Robert had been a lot busier lately, but he was wondering if there was more to it than that. Most importantly though, he wanted to change it. "We're going fishing Saturday. Samuel and Sebastian are coming up and Jamie will be there too this time. I cleared it with Frank and father, you can have the afternoon off!" Robert informed him. "Cool," Rip said, sounding utterly unenthusiastic however, not moving his head even in the slightest. 'That might change' he thought, thinking of the notes on the bottom of his school bag and his uncle and social worker waiting for him at home. He was wondering if she had told him about the phone call.

The planned fishing trip would at least get him out of having to ask his uncle about the party. Apart from hating to ask, he hadn't been entirely sure if he wanted to go in the first place. He had never been to one before but never told Chrissy that. Either way there was no longer any point in asking about it, and Chrissy would understand. She knew what they were like about their 'fishing trips'. It would be sacrilegious of him wanting to go to a party instead. And if the permission to go fishing with his cousins was withdrawn it was obvious, he wouldn't get to go to a party either.

"Jacob is coming up too," Robert said after a while. "Huh," Rip went and glanced over to Robert who in that moment turned his head also, their eyes meeting for the briefest of moments. There is comfortable companionable quiet and awkward silence. Because of their nature, Rip and Robert were familiar with both, and it was the latter that filled the car for the remainder of the journey.

They arrived back at the ranch and Rip was about to swing the passenger door open when Robert leant over him and pulled the door close again. "Not so fast buddy," he said.

"They are waiting for me, Robert," Rip protested and nodded towards the house.

"Let them wait," Robert replied, calmly and turned towards Rip, looking at him quietly for a few moments. He hated seeing Rip like that. Head bowed, biting his lips, clutching onto his school bag for dear life. It reminded him of Samuel after the death of their mother, but also the day that they first brought Rip home. Sometimes it felt as if both only happened yesterday. On other days it felt as if it had been in another lifetime altogether.

"Rip, are you still mad at me?" Robert asked him. The boy swiftly turned towards him. "What? No," he objected, then bowed his head, as he saw Robert's concerned eyes, and said "No" again, in a much quieter, almost broken voice. "I wasn't angry at you to begin with", Rip stated shamefully. He still felt bad about how fiercely he had attacked Robert that day, when he realised Robert knew what he had never disclosed to anyone. It still felt raw. It was hard to believe that almost two months had passed since.