Rip - Becoming Whole

Ask him?!

The following night, reflecting on his conversation with Chrissy and everything that had happened in the previous weeks, Rip came to a conclusion. Chrissy was right he conceded. There were things he needed to get sorted. He knew what he wanted to do but was not a hundred percent sure why. His uncle would have a conniption that much was certain, but Rip was not prepared to take No for an answer so he was just not going to ask him.

It took a few phone calls but eventually he found out who his social worker was. He was surprised, she actually knew him. Apparently, she had been the medical social worker in the hospital that they had brought him to on the day of the 'incident'. He didn't remember her, nor the emergency placement she had organised for him, those early days had always been a blur to him.

She sounded kind on the phone and insisted for him to call her by her first name, Regina. She told him she had recently changed jobs and was delighted when she found his file among her caseload, she had always wondered how he had fared and what happened to him.

He told her he was doing okay without going into any detail, and then asked her what he needed to do so he could visit his dad in prison. When she explained to him, that before she could do anything, she would have to talk to him and his foster parent about it, Rip immediately lost interest. 'So much for not taking no for an answer', he thought, but there was no way he could talk to his uncle about it. He quickly brought the conversation to an end, but not before Regina told him to tell his foster parent that she would be in touch with them soon. She was working her way through all her new cases, visiting them one by one. He told her again they were doing fine and emphasised that there was no need to visit. She told him she was glad to hear it and that she was looking forward to meeting him in person.

He wanted to tell her to stay away but instead thanked her and said goodbye. Fear ran through him and made itself known in his gut. What if she told Mr Dutton he had phoned, and why? He should have asked her not to and considered ringing her back, but what was he supposed to say? 'Please don't tell my foster parent I rang? Please don't tell him I asked to see my dad?' He would have to give her an explanation why or else she would think he was afraid of him. He couldn't have her think that. It also wasn't true. He wasn't afraid of Mr Dutton, not anymore. He was afraid of what he might think of him. He was afraid Mr Dutton might be disappointed in him. He was afraid he would stop caring about him. Or was he just afraid of hurting his feelings? Would it hurt his feelings? Possibly. For, how could he explain why he wanted to see his dad in prison without acknowledging the role the man had always played in his life, the role he still played in his life and the confusion he felt about it all. So, he didn't ring her back. It would have been too difficult, too complicated. There would have been just too much talking involved.

The thread of a visit by the social worker however was hanging over him like the sword over poor Damocles and made things even more difficult than they already were. Since Jacob left, things had not been the same. How could they be?

Rip missed Jacob around, but when Jacob came to visit, to work with Thunder once a week, Rip purposely stayed out of his way. He felt responsible for his leaving and not just because he had encouraged him to not give up on Monica. Jacob had made it quite clear to him that he brought out the worst in him, and Rip had a strong suspicion that this too had something to do with Jacob's leaving, which made him feel awful. He could understand it though, they were going to have a baby, the last thing they needed was Jacob on edge. For the same reason he stayed out of his uncle's way. Mr Dutton was moody since Jacob had left, and Rip feared he blamed him. With Jacob leaving and Frank taking over the stables, more work fell on Robert, so he saw less of Robert as well who now seemed always tired.

He also resented the fact that Frank was being put in charge of the horses. He felt hostile towards him but tried his best not to show it. His uncle had asked him to stop working on the foundation of the arena for a while even though at this stage he was almost finished with the digging. He instructed him to help Frank instead. He would have liked to object but felt he couldn't as he still owed him an endless amount of labour.