Rip - Becoming Whole

Autonomy

"You are sending him to his room?" Samuel asked his father impatiently as soon as Mr Dutton had stopped hugging his brother and the two men who hadn't seen each other for more than two years sat down opposite each other between the young men.

"I thought you had decided against that. Is everything okay?" Samuel wanted to know.

Mr Dutton sighed. When he sent Rip upstairs to his room it was in the hope he could take a break from it all and catch up with his brother, but of course he was fooling himself there. He was too wound up not to talk about what happened, and Samuel would not let him off that easy. So he told them what Rip said and what led up to it. How he tried his best to stay calm and managed rather well, but how despite this, it had made no difference whatsoever.

"Maybe I should go," Paul said when he heard about Rip's hostility towards him, "I could stay somewhere in town, until he gets used to the idea."

"Maybe you should stay," Robert growled at Paul, as he sat himself back down between Jamie and his father.

Mr Dutton looked at Robert, raising his eyebrows and his adult son obediently apologised to his uncle without any real conviction.

"He keeps pushing me away, Samuel," Mr Dutton finally concluded his report of the day.

"That's nothing new, father. I keep reminding you, that's when he needs you most," Samuel lectured him.

"Well maybe someone should tell Rip that because every time I get a bit closer, he keeps pushing me back even further. Surely at some stage it should get easier not harder," Mr Dutton countered angrily.

"You feel it's getting harder?" Robert asked surprised.

"You don't?" Mr Dutton asked matching his tone.

"Not really, no," Robert replied. "I thought you said he opened up to you about a few things. Didn't you say he came to you last night? To talk to you?"

Mr Dutton shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "Yeah, and today we are back to square one. Look at my arm," he told them, showing them the scratch marks Rip had left on his forearm and hand.

"Well, you keep comparing him to an adolescent mountain lion," Jacob said and grinned. 

"You're taking this pretty hard," Samuel observed.

"Of course, I am," his father told him.

"Why?" Samuel asked.

"I am not sure. Lately I am starting to think I just might not be the right person for the job after all," Mr Dutton said in a defeated tone.

"Goddammit, father," Samuel said angrily, "Are you serious? It's a bit late for that. That's a luxury you don't have at this point. You either are his parent or you are not."

"Have you listened to anything I said? He doesn't want me to be his father, he told me quite clearly. I shouldn't have to force this onto the boy," Mr Dutton explained his thinking.

"Oh for god sake father, how often did we push you back and said horrible things to you, and you paid not a blind bit of notice. How often did I tell you I hate you when I was that age? You didn't question yourself then? Or did you?" Samuel asked.

"What do you mean I didn't pay a blind bit of notice to it. I punished you for it, did I not?" his father replied.

"Yes, you did, and you went over the top might I add, but you weren't acting all hurt, you weren't sulking like you are now, threatening to give up, asking yourself whether you wanted to be my father or not. If he can't be angry at you without fearing you abandon him for it, who can he be angry at?" Samuel tried to reason with his father.