The Enemy in my head

Chapter 21

Trigger Warnings for this Chapter:
●inner emptyness
○grieve
●death
○swearing
●angst
○Logan being an emotianal mess

●○●

-
Logans POV:

Back when I started feeling emotions, I thought of them as beautifull. As gorgeus. As light and bright.
When Janus dropped to the ground - there was this sound in my throat wanting to come out. A scream, a sob or a cry for help. Whatever it would have been, it never came out.
As the sound dissapeared, it took my emotions with it. I was alone. But not lonely. Because I just lost all my emotions - lonelyness being one of them.
While I was despreatly trying to get my emotions back, Virgil and Roman went away, running. Remus screamed and wailed. Patton was emotional - unlike me. He seemed to feel five times more emotions than the heart could carry.
I didn't pity him.
I looked him up and down, tried to feel something. The feeling I got when he smiled, he breathed, when he simply existed at the same time as me.
The feeling of LOVE.
Love is gone.

Evry - fucking - thing is gone. 

We need to prep. Why do I not mourn? Why is all I am feeling, all what I am full of we need or i should?
Who can cure this hellhole?
I promised myself to ask Virgil, when he is ready.
I went to the door.
I didn't even care, that I was leaving Janus corpse on the ground, with Remus desparatly trying to force him back to life.
I went back home.

Timeskip to current situation - Witj Virgil and Patton

Still Logans POV:

When they had brought Virgil home, I was alreadyfinished with my plan for Virgil and just prayed that he was ready for me, too. I stood up from my desk and took my folder.

Maybe he was not ready for this fight.

Maybe nobody is.

I need to change that.

This is where I was stupid. Right there. Emotions where left out. How could I, currently without a single feeling, think about, what others would feel? How could I know that Anxiety would loos his mind? How could I know that Remus and Roman would nearly kill Patton?

How?

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