Feel (Kellic)

Chapter 14

Chapter 14 

It's Saturday, finally. I haven't seen Vic all week. Honestly, that was because I was avoiding him. I still am. I can't help the fact that I'm freaking out, though I have been able to control the bouts of stress I get when I think about him. See, and that's another reason I don't like him. I stress out when I think about him and his beautiful honey brown eyes and... Nope, just stress. That's all I get when I think about Vic.  

I roll out of bed, planning on locking myself in here all day, when I get a knock on my door. I sigh, irritated, and go to the door, opening it. I shouldn't even be surprised to see Frankie standing there. 

"I don't want to go anywhere." I say, starting to close the door but he quickly steps in. Damn him and his quickness. 

"You are not going to avoid the obvious." Frankie gets straight to the point, giving me a stern look. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." I turn around and start fixing up my bed, wanting to focus on something other than talking to Frankie. Instead, Frankie sits on my bed, restricting my ability to fix it up. I groan, but I don't run away from him this time. He'll just follow me wherever I go.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about and you've been avoiding him all week." Frankie points out, as if I didn't already know, crossing his arms. 

"I thought that's what you wanted." I retaliate. He had this talk with me about taking some time away from Vic and now Frankie is wanting me to spend time with him? That's not how things work. 

Frankie sighs, "I admit, I did tell you to stay away from him for a little bit," I nod my head smugly, but he continues, "But that doesn't mean you can pretend he doesn't exist when clearly, you like him. And from the looks of it, you don't know what to do about that." 

I huff, annoyed with how Frankie is bent on the notion that I like Vic. I only talked to Frankie a little bit about this whole situation, but I didn't want him to get so stubborn about it. "I do not like him." I say firmly, trying to get it through Frankie's head. He just shakes his head. 

"Whatever, Kellin. You like him. Even though you don't want to admit it, you know it's true just as much as I do." I stubbornly don't say anything back, because I know somewhere that what he's saying is true. I still don't want to believe him, but the truth behind his words are starting to irritate me, swaying me into believing him. I can't have that. 

"I really don't." Now it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself and not him. As much as I keep denying it, he'll just become more and more persistent. This side of Frankie pisses me off, but it doesn't at the same time. It keeps me in line. But in this moment, I don't want him to be persistent. I want him to leave me alone so I can have time to think about what the hell is going on inside my head. For someone like me, this is a huge deal. Having a best friend was a big deal to me. Having someone close to me is a big deal. It's hard for me to open up and I don't like when people see the other sides to me. So something like this is almost horrifying. It freaks me out. 

I can tell that Frankie is starting to get irritated with me. I mean, who wouldn't? I'm an over all irritating person. "Kellin, I know you don't want to accept the truth, but stop being childish. Honestly, it's just a crush. Haven't you ever had one of those before?" 

It takes me a moment to respond, but when I do, my voice is quiet with defeat, "No." 

"Really?"

"Yes. really." 

"Why not?"

"I don't know." That's the absolute truth. I have no idea why I've never liked anybody. Isn't it supposed to be a normal thing in a teenage boy, or even a kid? Aren't you supposed to look at a human being and think they're the most beautiful thing in the world and you can't get them off of your mind because they're just so amazing? But the sad thing is, I've never had that happen to me. I can't even look at myself and think I'm beautiful and amazing, let alone another person.