Feel (Kellic)

Chapter 20

You guys should go read my one shots ;)

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Chapter 20

I wake up to the sound of the car trying to start up. It sounds like a dying cow. I shift around, trying to find a comfortable position in which I can successfully ignore the groaning of the dying cow car. It won't stop though.

I put my hands over my ears and shut my eyes tight. I didn't have a good sleep. It was in and out, and to be fairly honest, very stressful. I'm sitting in a car with an almost killer. Okay, I don't hate him, but I'm just... Confused?

He told me it wasn't his fault.

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"You.. You almost killed your brother!?" I whisper shout, not wanting to be too loud or dramatic. I don't know how else to react to this.

"Look, don't freak out." Vic says doing motions with his hands to calm me down. I do so, taking a deep breath and settling down. I don't want to freak out, really, I'm just shocked. I was not expecting this.

"Please elaborate on that. I just.. Yeah. Um." I don't know what to say? This is all so much to take in, and I know he's trusting me with this information. He's never told anyone. Probably the only people who know about it is his family.

"In school, I got caught up in the wrong crowd of kids. It was actually more dangerous than you think." Vic begins to tell me, "I wasn't too sure what was going on, but the head of the group took a liking to me and I was stuck. So in walks my brother, who yeah, smoked weed and all that shit, but he was much more innocent than me."

I nod my head, just waiting for him to continue.

"It honestly wasn't my fault. I swear. He.. We were on this run for the head and I couldn't keep an eye on him properly, so stuff happened. The head told me if anything like that happened, I had to get rid of the problem. Which was my brother at the time. But... I didn't do it, I couldn't do it. He ended up in hospital though and I regret everything about that to this day." Vic says this all in one breath (almost), and by now, his hands are shaking and he won't look at me. I just stare at him, processing all this new information.

"Oh." That's all I say.

Vic shakes his head, "I was so stupid and I still am. I don't know why I got involved with people like that in the first place. Honestly, half the time I had no idea what I was doing and I thought I was dreaming. That's why my father hates me. Because at the time, I couldn't take responsibility for my actions and he knew. He just knew."

I feel the urge to take his hand in mine, so I do. Just because I hate seeing him in distress. Now I know something about him and it makes me feel worse. I'm a little confused too, because the way he says everything makes it seem like it wasn't not real. Like it never was. But he did mention something about not knowing what he was doing half the time.

"Do you hate me?" Vic asks, finally looking over at me. His voice is quiet and a little shaky.

"I don't know. I don't think so." I answer. No, I don't hate him. I just don't know how to feel about him right now. I need to think. This is all messed up. It's in the past yes, I'll look over it, but right now I need to think about it.

Vic nods, "Okay."

I do the one thing I thought would work to make him feel less distressed and hopeless; I pull him into my arms and just hold him. I know I shouldn't do this after he tells me those things and I feel sort of off about him at the moment, but it feels right. A normal human being would do something like that right? And for all I know, I'm the most human one here.