space cadet | lil peep

5| "is gus home?"

jj

"bye gus. thanks bye the way" i said, departing back to my own house. i almost felt like i should hug him, but i didn't. "no worries. see you later?" he asked. "yeah" i smiled and went back inside. "jessica was that a boy bringing you home?" my dad asked as soon as i walked in the door. "yep" i said. "are you dating him?" he asked. "nope. he's a friend but even then i'm an adult and it's none of your business" i snapped back at him.

"don't fucking call me jessica either. i hate that shit" i said.  "do not curse at me" he warned. "i'll do whatever the fuck i please" i reminded him. "jessica jasper are you high right now? look at your eyes!" he exclaimed, catching a good glimpse of my face. "maybe i am, maybe i'm not. none of your business, again, remember, adult?" i said. "and you're still under my roof and i won't be having a junkie living here" he said. "oh my god dad it's weed" i said, rubbing my temples. "so you are high? that's what you're off doing with boys now?" he accused me.

"yeah dad. i'm not a kid anymore. surprise" i said sarcastically. my mom must have heard the commotion and entered the kitchen. "what's going on in here jj?" she asked. "dad still thinks i'm a kid. i'm literally nineteen and can make my own choices? maybe remind him?" i asked. she gave my dad a look, waiting for his explanation.

"jessica came home with a boy, and she's high from doing marijuana" he told me mom. "you don't do weed" i said. "jessica!" my mom half screeched at me, obviously pissed. "i recognize you're an adult but you're also under our roof. this is not behaviour we can approve of or be comfortable with. i don't have any more options but to ask you to leave if you can't respect the rules" she said.

"you're kicking me out?" i asked, shocked. i'd been let away with basically everything in my life. "to put it concisely, yes" she said. "fuck you angela" i told her. "i'm your mother, excuse me" she said, extremely offended. "well you're not acting like much of a parent. i will pack my shit and leave. bye angela. bye stephen" i said, flipping off both my parents and stomping upstairs to my room.

i packed the majority of my stuff into a suitcase and a bag, i'm sure they'd have me back sooner than later anyways. i messily shoved clothes and toiletries into the bags, put on a sweater and grabbed my keys and phone. i ran down the stairs, left without looking back and slammed the door on them. if they didn't want me here then that's what they would get.

once i got outside and walked for a bit, cooling down from my little outburst i realized i really didn't have anywhere to go. i didn't have any really close friends, or any family in the area. this was going to be a long few days. i decided to go and find a bench or something i could get comfortable on, it was my best option at the moment.

i stopped at the nearest bench in a park. i guess this would have to do for now. they'd probably get their shit sorted out in the next day or two anyways. i sat down on the bench and pulled out my phone, meaninglessly scrolling through instagram. i don't know why people tried so hard to make their lives seem perfect.

a single drop of water fell from the sky, splatting on my phone screen. oh fuck no. i checked the weather app on my phone, thunderstorms all night. great. this is just fantastic. i got up from the bench, in hopes of finding some sort of shelter before it started downpouring. this really sucked, like really really fucking sucked.

i hiked up the road, dragging my luggage along with me. the speed of the raindrops slowly increased, once i had gotten two blocks it was raining enough to start to dampen my clothes. there was literally nothing with a roof nearby and i was getting rained on harder by the second.

i was getting extremely frustrated and i wasn't used to things not going my way. i sat down on the sidewalk, not really caring anymore. i also wasn't someone who cried, but i felt tears start to flow. i was still high as shit, so that probably accounted for some of it. there i was, pathetic old me sitting on the sidewalk, homeless and in the pouring rain with nowhere to go.

the water started to drip from the ends of my hair and run down my face, rain drops and tears were racing down my cheeks. i looked to the left and saw the street sign for gus' house in the distance. i was never someone who asked or help, or someone who needed help but i was so out of it and frustrated right now i didn't really care.

maybe gus was worth a shot, he was the closest thing i had to a friend right now. i looked absolutely crazy walking up to his front door with huge bags, sopping wet clothes, mascara running down my face, sobbing, just a mess overall.

i reluctantly knocked on the door, unsure of who would answer. a woman, i'm assuming his mom opened it to me. "is gus home?" i asked through tears. she looked at me, very concerned. "yeah he is, here, come in out of the rain honey" she said, inviting me inside. "thank you" i said meekly.

"gustav!" she called to him. "what?" he asked, sounding annoyed he had disrupted her. "downstairs. now. someone's here for you" she said. "i'm liza by the way" she introduced herself. "i'm jj, nice to meet you. thank you by the way" i said. i didn't feel like myself at all but i was really just happy to be inside somewhere.

"wha—jj?" gus started to ask, then noticed it was me. "hi" i said, struggling to keep it together. "jj, what happened? what's going on?" he asked, super concerned for me. "is this your girlfriend?" his mom asked him. "just a friend" he said. "here, let's get you upstairs and dried off and we can talk okay?" he asked. "okay" i nodded, i felt absolutely pathetic.

chapter question
where u from? i'm from ye old canada