space cadet | lil peep

7| "poor girl"

gus

jj was asleep in my arms, i didn't want to seem like i was being creepy or trying to make a move on her when she was most venerable like this but she asked for me to stay, so i did. we were actually quite comfortable, i kept a protective grasp around her while she slept.

i was surprised to see her at my doorstep, with such a show of emotion. i was happy she finally let her guard down with me a bit and was able to act like a real human. it was nice she was comfortable around me so quickly for someone who wasn't really a people person. however i'm sure she had quite the internal conflict about coming here in the first place.

i did feel bad for bringing her home, and bringing her home high at that. it kind of was my fault if you look to the roots of the situation but nothing could be changed now. i was hoping she'd stay, at least for a few days. i really wanted to get to know this girl better. she was certainly headstrong but i was up for it.

mom
do you or jj need anything? how is she?

gus
she's asleep now. we're both okay. thanks tho

it was nice my mom seemed to like her too. especially since she was a random stranger who just showed up at her front door crying. jj stirred a little beside me, her eyes barely started to open. "shh. you're okay, you're safe. go back to sleep. you need it" i told her, rubbing her back again to help her fall back asleep. emotional drainage made you super physically tired, i knew that all too well.

i really felt for jj. poor girl. i couldn't imagine being suddenly tossed to the streets with nowhere to go. i did give her some strong ass fucking weed earlier, so hopefully that helped make it not so bad for her. helps me at least. i was probably a little bit too dependant on weed for happiness and stability and basic human function but i didn't really care at this point, it was such a part of my life and routine i'd never be able to stop.

i looked down at the sleeping girl in my arms, i had no idea what her home life was like but considering the situation i didn't imagine it was great. with an attitude like hers and slightly strict parents seemed like a perfect disaster. kicking her out did seem quite harsh to me, it's not like she was 14 years old.

i secretly hoped she would stay a few days. i really wanted to get to know her better. now that i've seen the other side of her, i want more. being as shy as i was, having a girl who wasn't afraid to speak up for what she wants and what's right didn't seem too bad. i was getting way ahead of myself though, i'd only known her a couple of days. she probably didn't even like me that much. if at all.

she rolled over and her phone fell out of her sweater pocket. the screen lit up but she had no notifications, her lock screen was just a default iphone scenery picture. i noticed her battery was in red, so i plugged it into the charger next to my bed for her. i still had yet to get her number so i was definitely way ahead of myself and being way over confident.

i didn't have many friends, and i'd only ever had one girlfriend so i guess i got attached to people easily. i was lonely so it was nice to have someone around. my family was usually around but my brother was a few years older and we didn't really get long. parents are parents. not even comparable to a friend. my dad was kind of a dick and strained on the whole family, which often made my mom and i argue even if it wasn't really our fault.

it was dark out now and i was starting to get a little bit tired. i rarely was able to fall asleep without smoking first, but i didn't want to wake jj up right now. my brain knew it was tired but i couldn't actually fall asleep without getting high so i just kind of laid there with my eyes closed, trying not to fidget or move too much.

i knew i was going to wake her anyways if i continued to be as restless as i was so i stretched as far as i could reach, shifting a couple of inches to reach my stash. i lit a joint and smoked it hanging off the edge of my bed so i didn't blow the smoke back in her face by accident.

"you can get up if you want" jj mumbled. "oh you're awake?" i asked, a little startled as i didn't realize she was up. "i am now" she said. "sorry" i told her, i felt super bad now. "go back to bed, i'll only be a few minutes" i said, getting out of bed to stand normally, placing the blanket back over her.

i ripped through the j as fast as i could, tossing it in my ashtray when i was done. jj looked like she'd fallen back asleep, laying still. i got back into bed carefully. i just let her be, turning over to face the other wall on my own side. i didn't want to overstep when she was asleep.

"goodnight" i whispered even though she was sleeping, i obviously got no response. i felt the weed start to numb my brain a little, my body felt heavy and i knew i was going to pass out for the night at any second now. this day took every unexpected twist i could have imagined but it is what it is. everything happens for a reason after all.

chapter question
what do u dip ur nuggets in
bbq sauce gang rise