jj
"i'm going to smoke" gus told me, getting up to leave suddenly. "what? right now? where?" i asked. "by myself" he said. "why?" i asked. what the fuck was his problem? "you're just being a lot right now jj" he told me. "how am i being a lot? we're literally just watching the bachelor" i asked. "you're just very loud, and very opinionated, very passionate but i however am not that" he said. "so you're just leaving?" i asked. "that was my plan yes" he said.
"okay douchebag" i rolled my eyes. "what? i can do things alone. you tell me to get lost all the time" he pointed out. "i'm aware. just a bit of a dick move to admit to avoiding me but like go ahead. have fun. by yourself" i said, waving him out of the room. "oh my god stop" he said. "what i didn't fucking do anything?" i snapped. i was literally telling him to go do what he wanted to do.
"stop acting like that" he said. "i'm not acting like anything" i told him. "yes you are" he said. "yeah whatever i don't care that much to put effort into arguing. bye" i told him. "do you want to come with me?" he sighed. "well only if you're offering" i said. "just come. you could use the edge taken off to be honest" he said.
"watch your mouth" i told him. "oh my god what now?" he asked. "don't say shit like that" i told him. "of course. sorry. forgot i could never do anything right or good enough for you" he scoffed. "yeah, do better" i said. "whatever, i'm leaving now. come, or don't. i don't really care" he said.
"okay let's go then" i said, getting up and following him. "will i ever understand you?" he asked. "probably not" i responded. i took his hand while we walked down the hall. "you're crazy" he murmured. "i know" i said confidently. "so where are we going?" i asked. "football field?" he asked. "sure. haven't been there in a while. remember the first time i saw you there?" i asked.
"yeah, i was like, why the fuck does this girl keep walking back and forth past me. she think i'm sexy or something?" he said. "nice. i was just kind of like, oh, that guy is still there" i told him. "glad i really stood out to you" he said. "well you do now" i told him. "i better" he said, grabbing my hips to turn me to face him once we stepped outside.
"what?" i asked, while he just kinda looked at me. he leaned in to kiss me. it was short and emotionless. "sorry for arguing. i love you" he said as he pulled away. "okay. love you too" i replied. we walked a couple minutes from the house to the field, it was way closer to our place than my parents. he beeline to the corner, sitting exactly where the two fence panels met.
"i just brought a bong" he said, unzipping his backpack. "okay whatever" i said. i didn't really care. i sat down next to him, getting comfortable leaning against his upper body. "gus?" i asked. "yeah baby?" he replied. "never mind. forgot what i was gonna ask anyways" i bluffed. i was going to ask him if we'd figured shit out enough to date properly yet. "okay just ask if you remember then" he said, leaning over to kiss my forehead.
"you go first" he said, handing me a packed bowl. "thank you" i said, carefully taking it from him. i think he tried to get me high first on purpose every time to make me easier to deal with for him. "we ever gonna go on a real date?" i asked. "what do you mean?" he asked. "like a deal date. dinner, movie, something like that? average date activities" i clarified. "when we're dating" he answered. "when are we gonna do that?" i asked. "when do you want to?" he then asked.
"well obviously i've wanted to for a while now" i reminded him. "i know" he said. "so, what are we waiting for?" i asked. "you" he answered. "but i'm ready?" i asked, confused. "you're not. you might think you're ready but you aren't acting ready. i can tell deep down inside you aren't ready" he said. "then when will i be up to your standards?" i asked. "when you stop jumping to an attitude like that all the time" he said. "i dont" i said. "trust me, you do" he told me.
"aren't you the one who liked me first?" i asked. "yes" he said. "then why are you like this?" i asked. "because i like you. i'm not gonna throw you into something you're not ready for. that's how you know i love you" he answered. "you know what, i think i'm getting way too high to continue this genre of conversation with you" i decided. "isn't that just like, the point of being high?" he asked. "no. i just like to chill" i said. "fair enough then. you certainly need to do it" he told me.
"shh" i said to him, curling into his side more. "don't fall asleep on me. i'm not carrying you home" he told me. "okay" i mumbled, laying flat out across his lap while my brain felt like it was spinning around.
"you good?" he asked, i usually didn't get hit like this. "mhm" i said. "okay hun. i have a feeling you're not gonna remember much of this tomorrow so i'll tell you now. just give me a few more days and you'll be mine. i think i almost have a perfect idea worked out and i've learned how to handle all your little curveballs. so a few more days and then we can be together. i don't want you to start to worry i don't like you or that you're getting played so i just wanted to get that out"
chapter question
do u like cheesecake
yes
YOU ARE READING
space cadet | lil peep
Fanfiction-"space ca·det a person perceived as out of touch with reality"
