Love Does Exist. (Raura) - COMPLETED

#29 The Notebook of feelings

Laura POV:

It was night and I was in my- well.. Our room. Ross was asleep on my bed, and I was at my desk, still awake. I saw something under some towels. It was a notebook owned by Ross. I opened it and found some words written in it:

2-13-0         4 years old

This is my notebook of feelings. All about my broken heart. I heard my teacher talk about it. It sounds sad, but I know how it feels.

2-13-1         5 years old

I was ready to fight, but I wasnt. I ended up dying more than once.

2-13-2         6 years old

I know how to fix your heart. But the problem is, you cant fix mine.

2-13-3         7 years old

Why should humans have feelings?

2-13-4        8 years old

I've tried harder. But it just makes it worst.

2-13-5       9 years old

I wish I can fight for my freedom. But I cant.

2-13-6      10 years old

Don't know if I'm strong enough to face the world alone.
Don't know how to cope with the place so called 'home.'

2-13-7     11 years old

This is a mountain I must climb alone.
This is my life, I must face my fears alone.

2-13-8    12 years old

Society has closed the door on every open mind.
It's captured all the innocence, and lost its reason to be kind.

2-13-9    13 years old

Living in a war zone, battered and confused.
Wish I didn't have to stay always feeling bruised.

2-13-10   14 years old

The further you climb, the harder you fall.
Doesn't take long before you got nothing left at all.

2-13-11    15 years old

No one cares.
They're just pretending.

2-13-12    16 years old

I hate getting flashbacks from things I dont want to remember.

2-13-13   17 years old

Sick of crying, sick of trying, yes i'm smiling, but inside i'm dying.

2-13-14   18 years old

I'm sick of life. I'm sick of tears. I'm sick of feelings. I'm sick of being sick. My deepest writings are my deepest thoughts. We could never get along. I hate my life. I just wanna die. I have my heart for sale. Its in the worst condition. But I will take anything for it. I need someone to cut out my heart and take it away, to end all the suffering, and end all the pain.

2-13-15   19 years old

I gave my heart to somebody new. I trust them not to break it. Its very fragile. I hope she can see how fast I'm falling.

It gets harder and harder to find a good reason to smile. If everything kills me tonight, i'll be ready to die.

Will there be any remmedie for a broken heart? I dont know. Why are you asking me?

I'll never make it through the road of life. So why keep trying?

How long is the road of life? I dont know. It depends where you end at. Other wise, the road will continue. Continuing your life is your choice when your young. When I grow old, i will be ready to die. Why am I crying? I dunno. Ask Mr feelings. He neighbors with my broken heart.

I learned that I shouldn't give up in my life. I always hoped that someone will fix my heart up, but I never believed that. I never have believed in love. But now I think I do. I should continue my life. If I didn't I would be wishing of dying, but not really. I would be wishing for someone to save me. and someone did. Her name is Laura Marano.

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 He wrote his feelings down every febuary 13. I closed the notebook. With tears falling down. He's lived such a hard life at young age. I mean 4 years old? He's pretty smart. He was drowning. He was sad. He was young. He was saying he was ready to die young. He says he gave me his heart thats in bad condition, and he trust me with it. And if It drops, its gonna be all my fault.

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I was crying while writing these quotes I made up. Oh man. They're so sad I just cant... Anyways, hope you liked the chapter. Good night!

-Ana