Heart On A Platter

The Price of a Heart

I barely remembered the day, but the part I remembered most would haunt me. Wishes haunt a heart, warm or cold within itself. That is the only truth in life.

"So..." dad starts his question through his full mouth. "What happened with Declan?" Dad ask me as I chuckle, not able to take my father seriously.

"Nothing" I lie as I chew a roasted potato's to ignore anymore questions.

"He must have done something for you to walk home in the pouring rain" My father continues to question me as I roll my eyes at the questions. And suddenly my phone rings.

"I'll go get that" I say as I run upstairs to my room and pick up the phone without caring who was on the other end. "Hello?" I speak through the phone as there's a pause.

"Rose?" I hear through the other end of the phone as I quickly hang up and throw the phone on my bed and let out a deep breath.

"What's wrong?" I hear from behind me as I sit on my bed.

"It was Declan" I finally admit. "I don't want to talk to him anymore." I say as I try to walk out of the room and Wright catches my arm.

"Why?" Wright questions me as I didn't want to answer that. "What did he do Rose?" Wright question me as I stay cold against his questions. "Tell me or I swear I will-" Wright threatens as he works himself up as I can't take it.

"HE HAS FEELINGS FOR ME!" I finally admit, the confession coming out through a scream of anger. "And I couldn't lead him on Wright, I couldn't stomp on his heart. How could I give a guy like that hope? Hell will freeze over the day I can feel! So why take him down with me?" I ask Wright as he sigh in disappointment at the situation.

"I didn't know" He says as I nod my head at his observation.

"And I didn't want to either" I remark as I start down the stairs and Wright stops me.

"Give him a chance Rose" Wright says as I'm actually surprised. "You deserve to be happy" He tells me as I nod and continue walking down stairs.

The rest of breakfast was awkward. Silence filled the dining room as dad slurped his milk out of his cereal bowl.
                             **********

"I miss her" I finally say as it feel as if a weight has been lifted off of me. "And I wish I didn't, the guilt always shines through" I continue as I sit on the grass. Not caring if the grass stained my pants, I just continued to talked. "I miss you too" I finally cave. "It nothing like it used to be since you've been gone" I vent to her, my solidarity, my peace, my first savior. "Ever since you left my life has gone up in flames" I admit to her as I lay the flowers beside her headstone. "I wish you were still here to tell me what to do" I say aloud as I wish more than anything she would answer back, but silence consumes the cemetery as I stand up and start to walk out of the gate and down the street as the sun sets.

leaving light streak upon the sky and the horizon as it should be admired, but beauty never last as the sky quickly darkens. I could feel a sinking feeling in the darkness, but for the life of me I couldn't understand it. Days like this I wish I was with Declan, he would know what I was feeling, my guilt shined through. Was it the right thing to let him go? Was I being too cautious? But in the end I know I had the right intentions, I never wanted to hurt him. I never wanted him to feel bad, better now than later, saving him heartache is the key, the key to his sanity.

But suddenly I'm knocked out of my thoughts as a hard shoulder pushes against my arm as my purse falls, the contents covering the sidewalk.

"I'm so sorry!" I hear the man say as I gasp as I look to see the man that truly say me as psychotic. My ex boyfriend, the man that took everything from me but still never say me as valuable enough. "Rose?" My name emerging from his familiar lips.

"Yes?" I answer back shortly as I pick up my purse from the floor, quickly shoveling the contents into the bag. Standing back up to his face.

"You've changed" he tells me as I take a smile.

"Thank you Jack" I answer him back with as he smirks as he look at me. "What?" I ask him as he lick his lips.

"I miss you" he says through his disgusting lips as I can't help the audacity of the man in front of me. The urge he couldn't control!

"Well..." I say, holding my purse close to me. "I don't" I tell him as I push past him as I hear a the similar sound of a chuckle.

"Rose? Please?" I hear from Jack behind me as I finally shake the fear and look to my side and see through the glass window a heart wrenching side to some, and I couldn't even feel numb to it.

The sight of my Declan and my best friend, Valerie laughing across a table as all I can bring myself to do is let out a sigh. One simple sigh leaves my mouth as the world caves in on my shoulders. A heavy weight falling upon my chest, and a unfamiliar pain fills my body.

"Valerie?" I call her name as suddenly their faces start to slowly collide and I feel as if I'm stuck in time. Bound to the horrible fate of seeing this unfold. "Declan?" I call his name, hoping he'll hear my whimper for him before their lips collide. As he delicately sways a piece of her hair out of the way and their lips collide my world fades. The world feel full and suddenly my eyes can't hold anything. As I close them, hoping to save myself from anymore pain, but the damage has already been done, it's irreversible and I'm shattered.

This unfamiliar pain I've never felt makes me whimper at the thought of what I just saw. The pain spreading throughout my chest as now instead of the always, hollow and empty feeling it's quickly replaced with a crumbling, hopeless feeling as I open my eyes and see the same sight. Heart crushing, mind crippling and senseless sight of my best friend and the guy who I felt a small glimmer of hope for. I was crushed.

"Rose?" Jack says as for one I'm silence, the pain felt overwhelming.

"I can't" I stammer out as I run.

Running from the scene of the ultimate betrayal. What was this pain? And why now? Why for him? Why? The only question plaguing my mind was ultimately why? One short, reasonable question that I was withheld the answer for.

The pain consumed me, mind boggling, soul torching pain was all I felt. And all I could do was run. As what felt like rain poured over me and onto me I continued to run. A part of me wanted to run until my feet bleed, but I craved the warmth I felt earlier yesterday, hoping maybe, in some way it would ease the pain.

As I open my father's door. Slamming it and quickly stomping upstairs. I let out a scream in utter agony, releasing some of the pain trapped in my heart.

"Rose?" I hear Wright call my name from down stairs as I wish this pain could disappear, and somehow me along with it.

"I WANT IT TO STOP!" I yell through the agony of the conflicting pain in my heart. Holding the hand to my chest through conflicted breaths.

"ROSE?!" My father barges into my room as I lay across the floor. "Rose?" He says as he lays my head in his lap.

"DAD?" I hear from Wright as he walks into the room and gasps, I hear the breath leave his soul at the sight of me.

"MAKE IT STOP!" I scream as my father pats my head. "I want it to stop" I quietly beg as my father nods worriedly.

"What's wrong?" Wright ask me through my tangled hair. As I squeeze his hand.

"I'm hurting" I whisper through the pain. "I want it to stop" I finally admit through the heartache. "My chest" I point to my chest, "It's breaking" I say aloud as they sigh.

"Look at me Rose" my father orders me as I sit up and he moves my hair from my face. "Your crying" my father says as he pulls my head to his chest as I continue to sob.

"Can you make the pain stop?" I ask them through my pain stricken eyes.  

As they look to each other, for once sharing the same though, and Wright breaking the silence. "It's heart break little sister" he tells me, "Their is no cure for that" he confesses as I continue to sob into my fathers shirt.

Never once in my life did I think my heart would break. By saving Declan from heartbreak I was only causing mine. Is it possible a heart could unfreeze only to break? A heart could lay numb, only them to be awoken by pain? A wish is never all that it seem. Ask and you shall receive, the price of a heart is always pain, yesterday, today and tomorrow, it pains to be human.