Heart On A Platter

Too Late for Honesty

I thought about that a lot, specifically during my walk home. And it finally clicked. I was never the best with analogies. I always loved by what I sad, and I was bluntly honest. Maybe it was my first reaction to ignore it, but now it resonates.

"And then the man asked me if I had a house seaside! Where does he think we are?" My father jokes to Wright as Wright lets out a confused chuckle.

"I wanna move back to South Cove" I blurt out in the middle of dinner as suddenly everybody falls silent.

"Are you kidding me Rose?" My father ask me as I nod. "You are just getting better" he tells himself as I just nod my head as he drops his fork out of his hand.

"I just wanted to tell you" I say as I gather my plate and take it to the sink. "I don't need your approval" I tell my dad as I walk back upstairs.

That decision took a lot of thought. I always feared going against my father, just in case he turned into something similar to my mother. But my therapist words finally made sense, maybe I did have to chase after the one thing that made me feel alive.

*************
"I'm here" I say as I stand in my own fully furnished apartment two months later. Everything felt so much harder. And putting on a new apron only made things so much harder for me.

As I tied my apron waiting for some malice, sleep depriving thing to happen but nothing comes. Taking in a deep breath I walk those two block to my new place of work. Cleaning tables and waiting tables now felt like second nature to me but for the first time that thought crept in again. Don't you want anything more than this Dahlia? And for once I let that question stay as suddenly I knocked out of it by a man that I partly wish I never met.

"Rose?" He calls me as I sigh. I hated that name now. Now it was just a shell of the person I was, it held no value to me.

"It's Dahlia now, Jack!" I explain to him as I continue wiping the bar as he tries again.

"I miss you, I miss us" he tries as I nod my head at his ridiculous revelation.

"Well I don't" I tell him, "things happen for a reason and we didn't" I remind him as I see the hesitation in his eyes.

"Rose?" I hear again as I look up, holding anger in my eyes thinking it was another one of Jack's questions. But low and behold I look up to see the one and only Declan Steele. "Come to this party" he tells me as suddenly I snap out of it.

"I have work, I have a life now Declan" I tell him as he sighs. His eyes widening and begging me. Through those pleading eyes it brings a real smile to my face.

"Fine!" I say through my laughter as he smiles.

"Good! I'll see you at seven tomorrow night" he says as he slips me a paper with a address.

"Why did you let him call you Rose?" Jack ask me as that's a question that I wanted to know as well. What effect did Declan really have on me?

"Because he's my friend and your my ex boyfriend" I remind him as I see the truth hitting him. "You should have thought about that one before you broke up with me" I tell him as I walk away as he tries again.

"Then what can I call you?" Jack calls after me as I stop.

It was a valid question. "You can call me gone, Jack" I tell him, "That's is what I am supposed to be to you after all, make it that" I explain to him as I turn back around as I hear the bell of the door to the restaurant I look from behind the door and I see a clear bar and smile at the sight of no Jack.

*****************
I spent hours scouring my closet for the perfect dress. Looking forwarded this night and it was finally here. I had a plan. Tell Declan how I feel and hopeful it would all play out from there.

As I got down from the taxi I stopped and looked at the building. Cars filled up the parking lot. And as I walked closer to the building I saw Declan's infamous blue, four door truck and the memories I had came flooding back. Of the bus stop, me leaving him there and me walking away. Was I really doing the right thing now? Did he ever look at his truck and see me?

I continue to walk to the door as I see crowds of people as confusion hits me. But I shake it off, I'm on a mission!

And suddenly I spot him, dressed in a blue vest like I'd never seen him before across the room. And it was go time, it had to be now!

"Declan!" I call him as I walk to him from the door.

"I'm really nervous Rose" he tells me as I smile. "I don't know what to do" he continues as I put my hand over his hands.

Looking him in the eyes. "Your going to be fine" I reassure him as I pay his folded hands. "I promise you" I tell him as his smile tells me everything and I figure now is the time. "I have to tell you something" I start.

"I don't think I can right now Rose" he tells me as that feels foreign.

"Call me Dahlia" I tell him as he brings his eyes back down to me.

"Why?" He ask me. "You'll always be my sweet little Rose" he tells me as he swipes a piece of my hair behind my ear. "Even if your not your own yet" he admits as I smile.

"Declan" I coo his name as he looks up and away from me. "I have feeli-" I start as I'm suddenly cut off with Valerie entering the room and Declan pushes past me. His blazer rubbing against me as I fought the urge to tug on it, to pull him back to me.

"Valerie Trin" he says her full name as he takes a knee and I hope he's playing, confused or even drunk, I pray he's not doing this to me.

"Please"I whisper my almost silent plea to Declan, hoping maybe he'd stop.

"Will you marry me?" He ask her as my heart plummets. Nothing but the overwhelming feeling of that night with Declan and Valerie. All those emotions flowed back to me, only worse. Because this time I had no choice, I couldn't even run. And just when I though it couldn't get any worse.

"I will" Valerie answers. I never thought that two words could have such a effect on me. As the room erupted in laughter and applause there I was. Wishing on a star that maybe one day I'd get the guy. As I saw Declan's smile grow to something I'd never seen before. Was I really selfish with him? Maybe I owed him this, the right to be with someone normal. Someone that wasn't me.

"I have feelings for you Declan" I whisper to myself, partly hoping that maybe those six words would fix the certain damage done to my heart. But with two clear words a chance was taken from me, as I stifled a sob and continued to stand there. Taking in the view and the unbearable pain breaking away in my chest.