Alexithymia, in the best state a person can experience a hardship in describing or expressing feeling, but in the worst case, the patient can not feel at all. 10% of the general population experiences this disorder. I am one of them, and this is my...
"I'm going to find my mother, and your helping me" I tell Declan as he squints his eyes at me in confusion.
"Your mother is here, at her house. I just saw her when I went to get your stuff." He tries to make sense of it as I roll my eyes.
"No!" I tell him as I stuff the money back in the bag, "I'm adopted" I tell him as he gasps.
"When did you find out?" He ask me as he stand up.
"Just today" I tell him as he steps back at my words.
"You just found out you were adopted?" He ask me as I nod my head at his ridiculous question. "Today?" He ask again as I roll my eyes at him. "Your taking this so well" he says as I nod my head at his sarcasm.
"You expect a girl without feeling to suddenly grow feeling overnight just to be told that her parent lied to her her whole life?" I ask him as he nods. "You don't think so? Then it didn't happen to me" I tell him as I zip up the bag of money and throw it next to my feet. "Now choose!" I order him.
"Choose what?" He ask me as I sigh, feeling like her didn't hear what I was even saying.
"Do you want to go with me or stay?" I ask him as he pauses. His hesitation clearly questioning my sanity.
"Only if I drive" he conditions as I nod to his agreement.
"We have to go to my house, I need something first" I tell him as he nods and I grab the duffel bag of money and Declan grabs his jacket and we leave.
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"Come on" I tell Declan as I hop out of the truck and use the keys and open the house door.
"Rose?" I hear as soon as I open the door and see my mother with a glass of red wine in her hand as I sigh. "Your back!" She declares as I nod my head at her bullshit.
"No! I'm just here to collect something really important" I tell her as I walk upstairs
"No!" She says as she blocks my way up the stairs. "You can't just break up our family and come back into my house like nothing happened" she says as I can hear the detest for me in her voice without having to look into her eyes.
"Your family, from the sound of it I was never apart of it" I tell her as she snickers at my audacity for such words.
"This is it Rose! You are no longer my daughter, from this second you are a stranger!" She commands as I shrug and push past her to her master bedroom and pull out the filing cabinet. "I MEAN IT ROSE DA'VAIL" she yells sternly as I push the cabinet to the middle of the room as I walk to the closet and pull out a crowbar.
"What are you doing?" Declan ask me as I smirk at him menacingly as I position the crowbar and push as the safe gives in and the tops latch is broken.
"Doing work" I reply as I reach my hand into the safe and dig past the doctor visits, insurance and bills and to the birth certificates, pulling mine out. And reading the writing.
Dahlia Iris Weight: 6 pounds 10 ounces
Born in the state of Oklahoma
Signed by : Iris Pansy and Jeremy Stilton
"It's true" I say to my self as I sit on the bed and I realize it was really all a lie. My whole life and my family, I was really nothing.
"Rose?" Declan ask me as I she it off and continue as I see it, adoption paperwork and a government document changing my name.
"They really did it?" I ask myself as I feel something again, regret.
"Come on Declan" I tell him as I lead him down the stairs as I make my way to the door with the stack of paper in my hand.
"I'm calling the cops! You are now a stranger and taking document that don't belong to you!" My mother yells as I laugh at her insanity as the door opens and my father and brother enter.
"CALL THEM!" I scream as she grabs her phone and my brother snatches it out of her hand.
"YOU ARE NO LONGER MY DAUGHTER YOU ASSHOLE!" She screams as I say nothing, gripping the stack of papers in my hands.
"I guess I never really was?" I tell her as her eyes widen. "That explains why you always hated me, treated me differently. I was never yours!" I explain as she stops.
"ROSE, STOP!" She threatens me as I chuckle.
"ROSE, DO YOU MEAN DAHLIA" I ask her as she gasps. "My real name is Dahlia Iris, isn't it?" I ask her as I laugh.
"You ungrateful brat! Without us you would've been homeless!" She says as she tries to grab me but my brother blocks her.
"What are you talking about Rose?" Wright ask me as I look at my mother in the eyes, leaking her secret.
"I'm adopted Wright. Mom never told me and my real name was Dahlia they changed it to Rose after they adopted me to prevent any contact with my birth mother." I admit to Wright as I spot the shock on his face.
"YOU DON'T KNOW!" My mother yells as I sigh at her pathetic lies.
"I do" I tell her as I show her the paperwork as she freaks, her eyes alMost looking deranged.
"You were always ungrateful" she says as my brother stands there in shock as my mother slips through and runs to me as she pushes me down to the ground.
"GET OFF!" I yell as she unravels my slit wrist.
"YOU LIED ABOUT THIS ATTEMPT FOR ATTENTION YOU SELFISH BITCH!!" She says as she finally sees my stitches, starting from my wrist to my elbow. "YOU STUPID DISAPPOINTMENT!" She screams as I hold my arm to protect my face as her nail open my wound.
"GET OFF!" I scream as I kick her off of me and stand up. Finally letting my anguish take over and punching her.
"My baby!" She says as she grips her chest, her hands drenched in blood. "I only wanted a baby" she says as I grip my bleeding cut as I sigh.
"I can't feel." I start, looking at my mother in the curb, being held there by my father. "But right now you are the only person I can say I truly hate!" I tell her as I start to walk away with Declan.
"You will never be anything!" My mother says from the curb. "You never were and never will" my mother says as I walk off into the street
