Her. | A Joe Jonas FanFiction | Book 2

26

Joe Jonas has never been the one to take things too seriously. He knew it, his friends knew it, let's be honest... everyone knew it. He had been in the spotlight since he was young, known as the clown of the group and soon, he just kept it up. It was true, however. He always was the fun one of the group. He wasn't too serious. He hated being serious. But over the years, as he had matured, there was a part of him that found serious conversations to be some of his favorites. He and Addison had a lot of those... when they were together. Things tend to change though, don't they?

Sure it had been months since their split and Joe did an amazing job and made everyone believe he was fine and moved on, not looking back on Addison Morris. And to be honest, a lot of the time he was busy enough that he didn't have time to think about Addison. He was doing press tours, concerts, recording, and more with DNCE and had almost no time to breathe, let alone think about the girl he no longer had.

Until times like now.

Two days ago, Joe returned home for a two week break from work. They're management team figured the group had earned it after four months of non-stop work. Joe, however, hated the idea. Now that he was home, he had all the time in the world to think about Addison. To think about what happened. And worst of all? He had all the time in the world to beat himself up, blaming himself fully for their split. There were so many things he wished he had done differently.

He should've been less difficult. He should've said, "okay, let's make a plan to see both of our families". He should've chased after her when she left...

He shouldn't have let her leave.

Joe had a constant routine of what he had done each day of being home.

Wake up, work out, shower, eat, try to write a new song or two, failing as all he can do is think about Addison... then sit in one spot for the rest of the day, spiraling in his own mind, only being able to think of what could've been if he hadn't ruined everything.

"You wanted to marry her." Joe whispers to himself, staring out of the window at the setting sun, the orange and pink leaving a tint to the empty room around him.

Yes, the empty room... the room Joe had kept from Addison for the longest time. He had begun to decorate it when they were still together. He wanted to make it something for her. Something that would be her escape. He had his music but Addison had yet to find something she was passionate enough about. The only thing she did was work and spend time with him. He wanted her to find what she was passionate about... and pursue it.

Now, however, it was just an empty room. The room he sits in when thinking of her. A room that didn't have a memory of her in it, but still hurt all the same. For Joe, it's a reminder of what could've been. He had thought about it many times... of how this room could've been a nursery. Not any time soon... but in their future. But he had fucked it up. And couldn't stop thinking about it.

A small whine came from the doorway, causing Joe to turn and sigh.

"Porky pork." he sighs, snapping his fingers and pointing to the spot next to him, Porky taking the hint and coming over to sit next to him.

Joe pets his head, sighing. "Hungry bud? It's about dinner time for ya, huh?"

Porky stands, pouncing around in excitement.

Joe grins softly, taking Porky downstairs and feeding him dinner before leaning against the counter and watching him eat.

Porky had become yet another reminder of his and Addison's failed relationship. He almost wished she had come and gotten him, taken him with her. But then again, he was happy she didn't. Maybe it meant there was a chance she'd come back some day... although he doubted it.

A knock on the door caught his attention, making him push off of the counter lightly and go answer the door, Nick and Kevin barging in with a case of beer and smiles on their faces.

"What's up bro?!" Kevin exclaims, slapping Joe's arm playfully as he walks by and to the kitchen.

"What are you two doing here?" Joe asks, sighing as she shuts the door and follows them to the kitchen.

"Well, we had noticed you haven't left your house since you and DNCE got back, so we decided to come and try to cheer you up," Nick says, holding out a beer to his brother.

Joe sighs, grabbing it and taking a swig.

"So what's going on?" Kev asks, gulping his swig down.

Joe shakes his head. "I'm not doing this."

"Why not?" Kevin asks.

Joe gives him a knowing look.

Kevin rolls his eyes. "Is this about Addison?"

Joe shakes his head, looking away.

He hadn't actually heard her name until now. No one had bothered to say it. No one had pushed any buttons or taken any chances.

"So it is," Nick says.

"Yeah, it is."

"Okay, what about her?" Nick asks.

"I fucked it up," Joe says after a moment, taking another swig of his beer. "I let her go. I let her leave. I didn't try to stop her. I didn't try to fix it. I didn't try to work it out. I just let her go."

"Bro, she walked out on you," Nick says, giving him a look.

"I made her." Joe says, looking at him seriously.

"What do you-"

"I made her Nick. I said things that I knew would hurt her enough to make her leave. I said those things on purpose. I pushed her away and didn't go after her."

"Joe," Kevin says, sighing. "You can't put all the blame on yourself. A relationship isn't a one person thing. It takes two. Sure, you initiated the argument. Sure, you could've tried to make it work. But she didn't try either. She left and didn't look back. I don't know about you, but to me... it seems like she didn't care that much if it was that easy for her."

Joe stares at his brother. "How do you know it was easy for her?"

Kevin shrugs. "She didn't try to work it out afterwards. She disappeared."

"So did I, does that mean it's easy for me?" Joe asks.

"Well-"

Joe sets down the now empty beer bottle, walking out of the kitchen and back up the stairs, going into the room and closing the door, locking it and sitting in the chair, staring back out the window and starting his spiral again... not having anything better to do. Nothing he could think of, at least. 

***

hi guys! 

should I continue to write in this style or keep it the way it used to be? 

what do you think about Joe's thought process? 

what are your thoughts? 

I'm writing the next chapter now, it'll be up soon, I promise! 

all my love,

shan:)