Hunter x Hunter oneshots

||Shal x reader||cooking with shaknark

Currently being covered in food and wearing white aprons
I was wearing a F/c shirt with ripped f/c jeans along with some f/c converse. while shal was wearing black converse,a grey t-shirt and ripped black jeans.
"Welcome to our cooking show!" I said extending my arms out to the camera.
"I'm Y/n" I smiled with a face full of  sauce and egg I'm my hair "I'm shal" shalnark smiled with a head full of flour.
"And this is what happens when we are left in supervised!" We yelled. The counter we were cooking on was a huge mess and the ground was too. "Shall can you pass me the bowl" I asked pointing to the long counter behind me. "Yeah sure" shalnark said going too grab the bowl. "AHH!" Shlnark yelled. He ended up slipping on an egg that was on the floor and he ended up pulling the milk that was on the counter down with him. "Shal are you okay?" I asked laughing. I walked to were he was and slipped on the milk making me fall on shalnark. Shalnark grunted and I started to wheez "stop wheezing" shalnark said laughing. We got up and faced the camera. "We should show you how it all started" I smiled nervously.

Rewind

"Today we are going to be cooking Spanish rice with fried chicken" I said leaning on shalnark.
"We have never cooked a day in our lives so we will we how this goes" shalnark smiled.

"So we need rice,oil,tomato,tomato sauce,garlic,union,chicken boullion and tomato boullion" I said reading the list out loud
"Oh yeah and water" I added
"What about the chicken?" Shalnark asked looking back from the fridge.

"what chicken?" I asked looking at the blond haired boy.
" WE'RE cooking chicken too aren't we? " shal asked
I chuckle "babe" I said facing the boy with the list in my hands"

"What" he asked "that's for the rice" I started laughing "what!?" He exclaimed "gimme that!" He said snatching the list out of my hands. I started laughing and leaned against the counter before i lost my balance. "Why is there so much!?"
"ask the fucking Mexicans" I said just hardly starting to wheez.
"aren't you mexican!? Or at least part!" Shal asked. I looked at the camera for a second then the looked at shalnark "next question" I laughed. Shalnark just looked at me with his mouth agap and his eyebrows doing the 'are you fucking serious ' look. I look at him then look at the camera "turn you're stove on medium heat" I said smiling awkwardly and turning the stove on. Shalnark snapped out of his mood and grabbed the shit we needed and put a pan on the stove.
"I'll get the rice and the oil" I said in a old man voice.
"What the fuck" shalnark said starting to laugh I chuckled and grabbed the rice and oil out of the pantry. I turned back and shal had all the stuff out "okay bitches time to cook!" I yelled grabbing the rice and dumping that shit in. The oil was already got so it popped out at me and shalnark when I dumped it in. "AHH WHAT THE FAWKK!" Shalnark and I screamed jumping backwards.

"This motha fukin oil wanna fight!" I screamed getting up in the pan's *bubble*
The oil popped out again and landed on my chin "fuck!" I screamed getting pissed off. "shal shake the rice!" I said grabbing my chin "you want me to shake that!? hahaha nice try bitch I ain't touching that shit with a 10 ft pole!" Shalnark laughed "be a man shal!" I yelled pushing the blond boy forward .

"Hold on..." Shalnark muttered "safety first" shalnark said after putting on safety goggles,shalnark smiled with a thumbs up.
I looked at him in disbelief "where the fuck did you get safety goggles from"

"I dunno I found them in feitans room" shal said looking at me "why the fuck would that bitch have saftey goggles" I asked
"I dunno" shal said sniffing the air "ahhh! That shits burning!"
Shal exclaimed shaking the pan of rice. "ARMIN WHEN DID YOU GET HERE" I cried.
shalnark laughed and leaned on the counter so he can catch his breath. I started wheezing and collapse to the ground. Shalnark started to wheeze and started to cry "you sound like a fucking cow" he wheezed out this made me laughing even harder and I started to sound like a squeaky toy. I finally catch my bReAtH and stand up. I turned the stove down to low and face the camera "now we make our sauce" I smile.

Short cut
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Now resuming
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"Tell me what to do remi!" Shalnark yelled with his voice cracking.
I was on top of his shoulders and had a hold of his hair. (Pffft that's what she said)

"Put the tomatoes in the blender!"
"Endevers boobies in the blender got it!" Shalnark yelled tossing a  cut tomato in the blender.
  "now tomato sauce!"
"Eren jaegers hand blood! Got it!" He yelled dumping tomato sauce in the blender.
"Onion!" Shreks hit stash! Check! " shal yelled throwing a whole ass onion in the blender.
"Garlic!" I yelled
"Anti feitan serum! Got it!" Shal yelled tossing a garlic clove in the blender.
"Chicken and tomato bullion!"
"hisokas and illumis ass crack powder got it!"

"And now water!" I yelled

Hopping off shalnarks shoulders and tossing water in the blender.

I go and look in the blender y'know checking thing's out and shalnark speaks up "i wonder if this thing works" shalnark said pressing a button "shalnark no!" I yelled but it was to late water and tomato sauce was hitting my face and everything was going everywhere. "Where's the lid!?" I asked
"what lid!" shalnark asked fliping out "the lid that came with the belnder pendejo!"

I said with now Bashir load of sauce in my face and arms.
"I knew you were mexican!" Shalnark yelled pointing at me. "Shut the blender off! Usted puto poste de frijol chihuahua!" I yelled. "babe what did you call me" shalnark asked pretending to cry and trying to shut the blender off. "It won't shut off!" Shalnark screamed "Unplug it!" I shouted. Shalnark un-plugged it and looked at me with my face full of sauce. I then looked and glared at the camera. "This is why you don't let shal fuck with blenders.

"hey! I'm a good blender operator!"
"the best out there" I said throwing flower at shalnarks face.
"What the fuck you trying to do!? Turn me in Casper the motha fucking ghost,or hisokas ass crack!" Shal asked. I snorted and started laughing with a hand full of flower in my hand.

Present time =3

That's how this mess happend I smiled awkwardly at the camera and shalnark just smiled with a thumbs up.
"You still have you're goggles on" I asked
"Oh yeah I forgot about that shit" shal said taking off his goggles
And there on shalnarks face was a goggle outline with flower around the outline. "You look like Albert intestine sneezed while doing cocaine" I laughed hysterically.

"We're going to lose our job"  we laughed "this what chrollo gets for leaving us unsupervised" I chuckled
"Shit we forgot the chicken breast" I said "here's some chicken breasts" shalnark said placing chicken breasts on my shirt where maw tatas are,anddd he doing the fboy face.

*creeeekkk*

"What are you guy's doing" feitan asked pushing the door open. Feitan was shirtless and was wearing black basket ball shorts, had messy hair along with his eyebrow that is now starting to grow back. I leaned on dual just a little and whisperd to him without breaking eye contact with feitan "shal when did we get a shirtless toddler?"

" WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!? "
feitan yelled. I grabbed the camera and faced it upwards so the bottom of  mine and shake China were in frame. "Shal! The toddler is screaming!" I said acting scared "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!? I WILL FUCK YOU UP I WILL FUCK YOU UP! GET YOU'RE ASS BACK! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!" Feitan yelled charging towards us "Shal run!!" I screamed holding the camera up so it could see everything.
"Record it Y/n! Record it all!!" Shal yelled running behind me.

In frame feitan was chasing us I was in front and shal was behind me making feitan in the front. "DON'T YOU FUCKING RUN BITCH BRING YOU'RE ADS BACK I WILL FUCK YOU UP!!" feitan yelled grabbing a butter knife off the table. "IT HAS A KNIFE!!!!" Shalnark yelled "AHHH"

End💕

(I'm to lazy to look for spelling errors so.if there is a lot sorry TwT)