The Depth of Deception // H. Potter

flashback: the boggart

The new term had rolled around, and Professor Lupin had returned to Hogwarts. He looked exhausted and sported several new scars upon his face, making everyone wonder what he had been doing for those few weeks.

As the students entered the defense against the dark arts classroom, a closet stood in the very center of the classroom. Confusion and excitement quickly spread throughout the room. 

"Can anyone tell me what a boggart is and what it looks like?" Professor Lupin asked, waiting for someone to raise their hand.

"No one knows what they look like, boggarts are shapeshifters; they take the shape of whatever that particular person fears the most." Hermione answered, as Professor Lupin smiled. Draco scoffed at the muggleborn. Amara ignored Draco, but Hermione had a harder time doing so.

"Repeat after me, riddikulus." Professor Lupin stated, and the class followed his lead. Draco laughed, talking with Crabbe and Goyle.

"This class is ridiculous." Draco scolded, his arm in a sling. Amara rolled her eyes, knowing how pathetically pitiful he was. After all, Draco was her brother and she knew him better than anyone else.

After a demonstration done by Neville Longbottom, the class lined up in hopes of completing the spell. Most of the fears were very common; spiders, snakes, Professor Snape. 

It was finally Amara's turn to step forward, and as the boggart began to shapeshift, Amara felt uneasy. She thought of all of things that scared her, but only one thing could truly scare her; herself.

The boggart shapeshifted into Amara. It looked just like her. Her platinum blonde hair tied back into a ponytail fell just past her shoulder, her blue eyes reflected back to herself like a mirror, her Slytherin robes and her tie were exactly the same. Amara was scared of herself.

Amara looked at herself and raised her wand, just as her boggart did. Amara's breath hitched in her throat, wondering if the spell would somehow hurt her.

"Riddikulus!" Amara shouted the incantation and watched as the boggart became a clown. Amara's eyes met Professor Lupin's as she walked to the back of the classroom. 

As she walked to the back of the line, she saw Harry, who gave her a quick smile. He had hoped it would cheer her up.

Amara couldn't seem to pay attention to anyone else in that moment. Who would understand?

Amara had lost herself and the track of the time and she didn't notice when the class had been dismissed. The only people who remained in the classroom were Lupin and Amara.

"Miss Malfoy, are you alright?" Professor Lupin looked at the young girl with concern. He wondered what she must have been thinking.

"Oh," Amara shook herself into reality, "I'm fine, professor." Amara tried to smile, but her face wouldn't let her. She was nervous, knowing that the class had seen it all. The only thing she feared was herself. How pathetic, she thought.

"If you'd like to talk, my office is always available." Professor Lupin offered with a smile, and turned to head to his office. Amara stood up and stopped him.

"Professor Lupin?" Amara hesitantly asked and he turned back around to face her, "Thank you." Amara was grateful. She had trouble expressing herself to others. Her father hated when her and Draco cried or asked for help. She was expected to be okay all the time, and that just wasn't always the case for Amara. After all, she was only human.

Professor Lupin only smiled before speaking once again, "It's quite intelligent to fear oneself. It means that you are aware that your actions have consequences, that your actions do, in fact, matter tremendously."

"What if I make the wrong decision one day, that gets someone else hurt?" Amara thought long and hard about what she would say next. She had thought about the people she loved. She didn't know if she could survive if she did something to any of them.

"I would tell you that everyone makes mistakes, Miss Malfoy. Some worse than others, of course. But what matters in the end is what you choose to do about it. That is what makes us who we are."

After following orders directly from their father, Draco and Amara stayed away from Harry Potter and the drama about Sirius Black. Amara focused on her studies and Draco focused his attention on quidditch.

As the term came to an end, Draco was relieved to be heading home after a long year. Amara, however, felt empty as she left the halls of Hogwarts. She would miss Professor Lupin. It felt good to be heard and understood. By leaving Hogwarts, she was leaving behind her freedom to express herself. 

With that, she also left a piece of herself behind at Hogwarts.