Chances (changbin fanfic)

13

I always thought about life, when it was 2 am I was always wondering why are we here and why we're doing the things we're doing.
I was thinking about it every single night and I get to the point where I think people always experience at least 2 days that are important for their existence, shaping their personality, making them who they really are.

One lucky day, the luckiest of every day in their life, it could be for example winning a million dollars, moving into your dream house, writing a book, jumping from a plane, or basically just meeting the love of your life, your soulmate and keeping them in your life or just have a feeling they're in the same universe as you, breathing;

and

one worst day, the worst day of every day in their life, it could be the loss of your family dog, becoming homeless, losing money, or losing a loved one.

People are always, from the beginning, bound to other people. Pulling them into your life doesn't matter if you want it or not, touching your soul. People will come and they'll go again, leaving you as you are, maybe meeting you in another universe, or never.
Our fingertips don't fade from the lives we touch, even if we just gave them one look, a single smile, broke their hearts into million pieces, or love them without any boundaries.

I already experienced both of the days.
My lucky day, was when the boy with messy hair opened the door of a little family shop my great-grandfather started decades ago.
My worst day, was when my parents died in a car crash.

These 2 days kinda combined when the police officer told me the news.

This is the worst day in my existence, my lucky day become the worst day too.

I lost the most precious people, they only left me an indescribable pain, broking my heart into millions of pieces and it wasn't their fault.
I couldn't afford to lose him, losing them and him would never fix my broken soul.

So I have to let him go. Let everyone go. To protect myself. He will want to make me feel good and I don't want it. I needed to disappear.
----

It was Tuesday when it happened, it was 6:38 when the ringtone on my phone woke me up, woke me up to pain.

Changbin was texting me all morning, I felt even more numb for hurting him.

Changbin
7:43  Hey how are you?
8:23  Busy?
8:45  I have a little easy day today, finally
9:03  Hope you didn't fall asleep at the work :)
12:18  Are you alright?
15:12  I'm coming to the shop

It was cruel of me to not text him back, but I need to do that. To hurt him so I won't be broken in the end.

I was going from hospital to police station, family lawyer, funeral service, and back again. My parents left me money, I paid for their funeral, and I put other money in my bank account, it was good enough to live on my own. I was planning to close the shop for at least a month to figure out everything I had to do to make it work.

I'm so sorry sweet boy, you don't deserve that, but maybe I'll come back soon. I was debating everything with myself. If I should say something or not. But I wouldn't be able to do that in person.

hey, shop is closed and it won't be open for another month, I'm sorry but I don't want to see you right now, it hurts me, believe me, but it'll be better for both of us if we don't see each other anymore, for some time, maybe for longer, please respect that