𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧 //𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙜

9.

(you A/N: I don't want to spoil but I feel this is important,

Tw//
Suicide

Safe reading!!)

He unwrapped it and held the blade in his palm. His eyes were glazed over as he held it above his arm. In his thoughts, although jumbled and unclear, he could hear his dad, and his constant belittling insults.

He thought about Felix, and how much of a bummer he must be. He thought about Minho, and how all he did was burden him. He didn't want these thoughts, truly, he wanted to be in a happy headspace. A headspace where he didn't constantly feel like a failure, constantly feel like he needed to be taken care of or he'd whiter away, but he wasn't in control.

It felt like his own consciousness was slipping away and his anxiety and insecurity was taking the wheels. Fuck, he had so many emotions zooming through his head, and maybe the only way to get them out was-

It hurt, and he couldn't clean the blood this time, but he didn't care. Up his arm, across his shoulders, over his chest, once he started he couldn't stop. With each slash, more thoughts left his head and he felt a little more in control.

He looked down at himself, and his shirt messily hanging halfway from his torso in a desperate attempt to get to his chest. He wasn't happy about it this time either, or relieved. But in any case, feeling in control felt better than feeling like he wasn't even in the front seat of his own mind.

Jisung slipped a hoodie on and teetered to his bed. The scratchy bedsheets, at this point, were kind of therapeutic. It's where he'd always end up going after he cut himself up, so it felt like the closest thing to a routine he'd ever get.

..

Felixs eyes lidded over as he glanced down to
his phone.

"Did something happen, Lix?" Changbin laid a hand on Felixs fluffy hair.

"Fuck..Changbin this is bad. He isn't safe. I don't know whats going on, but he is not safe" Felix glanced around for the nearest bench and rushed towards it, running his hands through his hair and tugging on it, almost violently. "I don't what to do, what do we do?" Felix tripped and rushed over his words, eyes darting left to right.

"It'll be okay, you just breathe, calm down, and think rationally. Where is he?" Changbin rubbed Felixs back and drew little patterns on it, knowing it calmed Lix down.

"At home, I'm going to assume." Felix scratched the side of his neck. "I knew something was going on as well, why the fuck did I not do something before."

Changbin softly shushed Felix, continuing to pat his back.

"Jisung is going to be okay. Let's get home, though. I don't think we should be out here right now." Changbin brought a hand up to Felixs cheek and he nodded into his palm.

They held eachothers hand solemnly as they weaved through the crowds of the mall. Saturday definitely attracted a lot of people.

They hopped into Changbins car and drove home. Felix felt guilty, and worried beyond anything he'd thought he'd ever be. Leaning his head against his palm as he let the wind tangle his hair beyond repair.

They pulled up to Changbins house, more of a home to Felix than his ever was. His parents were barely around and his house felt lonely. It almost felt like going back there was going back to his parents house after he'd moved out, because truthfully he spent a majority of time at Changbins house.

They used to love Felix, but mysteriously after coming out to them, they seeemed to care about him less and less. He didn't mind, though. Felix didn't like them anyway.