𝘿𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧 //𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙜

11.

Minho rubbed his head as he woke up, and within thirty seconds, waves of guilt rushed through his mind. It was still dark out, he could tell from the big window above his bed that it was barely morning, but he figured he'd get out of bed anyway.

He didn't know what else to do, so he just sat in the living room as he admired the city from his window. At night especially, it looked like laptop wallpaper, the way the the zooming cars just looked like shooting stars from above and the high rises stretching as far as the eyes could see.

As he sat and stared out at the dreamy cityscape, one little boy ran through his thoughts. He brought his knees up to his chin and laid his head on them. What had he done...maybe if he hadn't been such a bitch? Would things have turned out differently? Maybe in that case, Jisung would have had a proper support system at school - instead he got bullied and mistreated.

If he had known before that this is how this would end up, would he have been less violent? In any case, he had to meet him. He had to undo what he'd done. He huffed out a long breath, pushing himself up to his feet.

He knew it would've been a little humiliating, since he hadn't seemed to care about Jisung up until this point, but he was going to call Felix. He couldn't face Jisung on his own.

He flicked his phone open and gave Felix a call. It was a few seconds, but he got an answer.

"Minho? What do you want?"

He realized it then like a lightbulb that had been off for ages finally being switched on, he'd need to apologize to Felix too - not just Felix, to everyone. He groaned a little at the though, but he had to try and remember that it was the right thing to do.

"I actually called you for something else, but there's something I need to say before that." Minho's voice seemed light, like he didn't want to say what was coming from his mouth.

"Okay, what's up?"

He sucked in a breath, getting himself ready to say some probably embarrassing words. It felt like shit to apologize, knowing that you've done the wrong thing is hard, but having to admit to that takes courage. Not a lot of people like to admit they did the wrong thing, they like to make excuses, shift blame, gaslight and get out of admitting they were in the wrong in any way. Minho knew this was going to be hard, but it was what he had to do.

"Felix, I'm so incredibly sorry. I've been.." he paused. These words were really hard to say. He shook his head and collected his thoughts. "I've been a terrible person to you and everyone these past few months. There's probably nothing I can say or do that can justify what I did or make it okay, but I will be trying my best to...be kinder to all of you."

There was a brief silence. Minhos heart didn't calm down as he waited for a response.

"I've been waiting for that for a long time, Minho. Thank you."

Minho groaned a little to himself.

"Yes..your welcome. Aside from that, are you going to see Jisung today?"

"It was keeping me up at night not being able to see him, of course I am. Are you?"

"I couldn't sleep either, but yeah I am. Let's go at the same time." Minho spoke quite direct and blunt. Felix sighed, a little amused. He noticed through Minhos tone how hard the elder was trying to refrain from getting irritated.

"That's a good idea. How about 2 pm?"

"That sounds good enough."

"Okay, see you at the hospital then."

"Yeah, see you." Minho cracked a small grin and slid his phone in his pocket. He stood in realizing silence, playing back what he said in his head. He gripped his hair and groaned, throwing his head backwards as he fell onto his lounge.

"Fuck...I really did that." He mumbled to himself, fiddling with his hoodie strings. He awkwardly cleared his throat. I did the right thing though...even if it was super embarrassing to be all sappy. Minho thought, standing to his feet and fixing his pants.

He checked the clock. 7:34...it was so early in the morning, what was he going to do all day? Laze around? But meeting with Jisung was tearing at his mind already, he couldn't handle himself all day knowing that's what was coming.

He decided to just go, and without informing Felix. He had to meet with Jisung now or he'd go insane. He collected his things and exited his apartment.

Riding in his Uber through the city got his mind wondering again. He didn't really think about it until now, but would Jisung even accept his apology? As much as Minho wanted to deny it, he didn't deserve to be forgiven - not by Jisung. The damage he did was irreversible. Maybe he had to change his outlook from thinking apologizing fixes everything to - to what? He shook it off, time would tell him what to do.

They pulled up infront of the hospital. The hospital was such a stressful place, walking in there he could tell already - nurses rushing around and people nervously tapping their legs as they await information. He hated it in there.

He stormed past the stressed people and got the attention of the receptionist. He didn't know where to start, where even was Jisung? Was he okay? We're visitors allowed? He took a deep breath.

"Hello, I'm here to see Han Jisung." The name felt bitter on his tongue, like he kind of new he was half the reason that Jisung was even here.

"Han Jisung? Oh yes, him!" The receptionist smiled at him as she quickly typed something onto the computer. She spat directions at Minho as if she knew the place like the back of her hand and gave Minho a thumbs up of good luck.

Minho tried to walk quickly before he forgot the directions. He noticed a kiosk on the way with a coffee machine inside, his slight caffeine addiction kicked in and he turned to get some coffee. He hadn't had breakfast anyway so a coffee wouldn't hurt.

"You have your first visitor, Jisung." The nurse grinned at him as she entered the room.

"Oh, I do? What's their name?" He sat up excitedly, his eyes widening a little. It had been so long since he'd seen someone he knew. He was a little upset that whoever it was had to see him in the state he was in, all plugged into different devices, but he hadn't been excited like this in ages and the state he was in didn't really matter to him.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure who it is. But I just got told that they're on their way." She chuckled. "I'll step outside and give you two a minute, if they're the first one to see you, then it must be someone important."

Jisung nodded to the nurse as she exited his room. Minho noticed the nurse leaving.

"Is this the room that Han Jisung is in?" He choked, a little awkwardly.

"It is! He's very excited to see his first visitor."

Jisung heard the talking from outside, and his mind raced. Who could it have been? Felix? Or maybe Hyunjin or Chan? Or Changbin? He certainly didn't expect who would walk through that door.

"Hello, Jisung."

(A/N: sorry for the short chapter. Also I feel like my writing is getting bad so I'll try and fix that in the chapters to come)