The Woman in the Letter

PART 9

We all gathered at my sister's house for dinner tonight. My sister Madeline always said that she would not give birth to a child as soon as she got married. At first, she said that she would get to know the man she was married to, travel to different places with him, and think about the child after living her marriage to the fullest. In the 11th month of their marriage, Madeline and Teymur already had 2-month-old boys. I still remember trying to find a name before the baby was born. They looked very funny to me and Paul how they fight for finding the name. But now, I am the only one laughing at them.

Madeline was a little different tonight. She laughed a little, lowered her head, gulped down the food, took a few pieces without appetite, then put the fork on the floor, and listened to the topics on the table. It seemed to me that she was trying to have less eye contact with me. I could not find a reason for her current mood.

After the meal, when I put the dishes in the dishwasher, Madeline put dirty dished next to me.

"I told you not to do anything. I am handling it" I said.

"Do not worry. Nothing will happen with few dishes"

It didn't matter to her. Although her pregnancy had just ended, I looked like a mother who gave birth to a child more than her. Madeline always looked smart and healthy. She started to go to dancing school in primary school. Our father Registriated both of us. In the second week, I won the fight not to go to the dance by clinging to my mother's skirt. I chose to play a video game instead. When she was in dancing classes, I shared my favorite toy with only my brother Henry. Madeline was a child that every family would be proud of. Ideal appearance, an ideal student at school, diploma with honor, and countless honorary degrees. She started yoga in the second year of his master's degree in law. She was as cold-blooded as my father. It was very difficult to catch any expression on her face.

But I also decided to have a marked change in my life and started a diet. I decided to do this seven days ago after seeing my body in the mirror while taking a shower.

I stopped arranging the dishes and turned to her. "Are you okay?" I asked.

She said "yes" and went to the dining table.

I put the last dishes in the machine. Leaning on the dishwasher, I waited for her to return to the kitchen. There was a tired look on her face that I couldn't make sense of. I wanted to conclude that she was tired of family care.

"You seem different, Madeline," I said

"What do you mean?" She gave a fake surprised look.

"Something happened to you. Did I do something or said something that you did not like? Are you mad at me?"

"No" she answered, peeling off the cover and placing it on the seat. "Why would I be mad at you. It is you. The same Natalie. I think I should get used to"

"To what?"

"Your decisions, your actions that you don't even see a reason to share with me"

"What?"

She finally looked at me and said, "I have always shared everything with you. But you are already making your own decisions. You don't care if this decision only interests you or affects your family. "

I said, "The sooner we forget about Paul, the better."

"You ..." She rolled his eyes and shook his head slowly. It was his way of saying that I was very nervous and that I would ruin everything. "Natalie, When did you decide to leave Paul? Why didn't I know about this decision? I just can't understand. Since when we been like this? Since When we keep secrets from each other?"

I shrugged my shoulders and opened my palms. "I did not want you to get stressed"

"I do not get stressed. You know" she said. "At least if you had consulted with me, things wouldn't have gotten here. You said you wanted to leave him when he proposed to you. There should be another way, Natalie. That night, I was almost died when I see you on the ground and bleeding"

"Wait a minute. Do you think I am responsible for what happened that night?"

"Don't you see any tiny blame on yourself?" She smiled "Of course. Usual, carelles Natalie"

"I would not want to thing went like this," I said. As I talked I felt the fear I had that night. "She proposed to me. Suddenly he took out the ring. He said marry me. What can I say? If I said I wanted to leave a few days after saying yes, it would be a bigger disaster"

When Nichole entered the kitchen, we both looked at her. Suddenly she stopped and looked at us, realized that she had entered at the wrong time, put a large white plate on the table and said, "I forgot something. I'll come back later"

"No no. Do not worry" I said, "Come on." Neither of us wanted to continue this conversation in front of Nichole. She was not yet used to the family, and we both knew that we should not frighten our brother's wife with the conflicts. Although the wedding is new, we have known Nichole for a long time.

"Then let me make you some tea," she said, opening the lid of the kettle to see if there was any water in it. We both did not say no to her proposal. Although we were not in the mood to drink tea and talk.

"How are the sessions going?" Madeline sat down on a chair.

She pulled his hair behind his ear and said, "i am not sure. I think the effect is not that satisfactory. Actually, have never been to a psychologist before"

Nichole's father was a pilot. When she was 7 years old, the helicopter he was piloting crashed into the sea. To this day, her father has not been found. Therefore, Nichole had a phobia of airplanes. Hafiz and she still could not go on honeymoon. She put the cup of tea in front of me first. Her facial lines were very sharp. I was sure she would be one of those women who would become more beautiful as she got older. As my sister.

I smiled "Thank you very much."

I looked at my sister and her in admiration as she turned to the table to pick up Madeline's cup. All the women in the family, except me, looked elegant, gentle, and just as vibrant. For a moment I thought about what Paul had found on me. Then I began to wonder what he was doing right now. I wonder how he was now. Did he get better, or did he shut himself up at home every night, as his mother had told him 13 days before? Or did he slowly return to work and continue to live his life, even though he was angry with me ?! I wanted him to be good.

Madeline touched the cup and put it back. He said to Nichole, "Don't worry, You will be better and healed. The main thing is to go over the fear. Because, as you run away from fear, it always chases you. As you move away from it, you feel that you are no longer afraid. But it is not. The fear hides to convince you that it was no longer after you. But then...Then you see that fear grabbed you at the weakest moment and put his hands around your throat"

None of us said anything after Madeline finished her speech. I never knew she thought that way about fear. I put my right hand around my throat and ran it over around my neck.