The Woman in the Letter

CHAPTER 2 New Life, New Letter PART 15

6 months later

I bought a small cup of coffee from a cafe where I do not like the taste of coffee and went up on a cold, quiet, and windless day in the morning. Soon the streets will be full of people, everyone will hurry and compete with each other to get to work on time. But my favorite thing about the people here was that they weren't as tense as we were.

I sat on one of the seats in front of Saint Ludmila Church. I love this place. This was one of the least visited tourist destinations. I knew that one day this place would be popular with tourists, but I didn't want to. This was the place where I felt most comfortable in Prague since İ moved here. When I took the book out of the bag and put it on my knees, I smiled and shook hands with the retired couple I saw in the right seat every morning. After greeting me in the same way, they continued their conversation. I tried to talk to them several times. Although they did not know English, they understood Russian a little. You can feel Russian influence in this city due to the Soviet era. Especially the older generation. But I have not met anyone from the younger generation who speaks Russian.

I took out the book range and looked at page 137. It was the third or fourth day I spent on this page. I lose my concentration all time, then I go back to the same page. Although it was my 149th day here, I was still trying to read this book. Or rather, I was deceiving myself. I was not an employee coming to Prague. After learning about what was happening, the head of the company gave me an appointment in Prague for 6-7 months to stay out of trouble. I said yes without thinking about the proposal. I collected all my belongings without asking anyone's opinion. I just told my family 4 days before I left. Besides, I arrived ten days early. I hoped to find freedom in this city. But it was too late to realize that the prison was inside of me, not outside.

Everyone around me knew about the incident. Paul's mother told everyone that her son did not die in an ordinary accident. He had deliberately driven his car into the canal and committed suicide. I could not tell anyone that he was right. However, what he meant in the video was very clear. The morning of the video, the car was found on the channel. It could not be so coincidental. But I wish it were. People on social media did not have any limit to insults and swearing. I was one of the victims of cancel culture. It must have been very difficult for his family to hold the ceremony without finding Paul's body.

No one in the house answered my questions about it. In the meantime, I tried to get the latest news from Madeline or Nichole. According to the latest news, I heard that Sophie still did not lose hope that his son would not die. According to his mother, the body had to be found somewhere, even if water flow dragged the body away. No trace was found other than Paul's jacket. I did not remember who gave me this news. But for a moment, for some reason, I thought he might be alive. I wonder how it would be? If Paul were alive, would I be here? Probably not. I would not leave my family, my home, my favorite job and start all over again in this city. I wish ... I wish Paul were alive. One day he went to his mother and said that he was not dead. As in the movies. For a long time, a person whom everyone knew to be dead suddenly appears, and there is a logical reason for his absence for days. Suddenly I was ashamed of myself. I was dreaming the same unrealistic dream of a depressed mother. It seemed that I was slowly losing my mind.

When I finished my coffee, I took the antidepressant out of my bag. I took 2 tablets of the medicine prescribed by the doctor only once a day. In fact, I should have stopped using it 3 months ago. This would be the last box. Like the previous 9 boxes.