Cadence ( Part 2 of Rhythm ) Completed*

Chp 3: Repeating

Ian and Mickey still can't manage to get pregnant and it's doing weird things to their heads.
*warning* - There is a lot of sex at the end of this chapter. Like...a lot.

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Mikayla is bouncing in Ian's arms, which is making it difficult for him to get the key into the front door's lock. She's got a hell of a lot of energy for someone who skipped her afternoon nap and ran around the workshop like a wild woman. "Relax, princess," Ian says through a laugh as he gives his daughter a smile.

The little girl contemplates her father's request for a moment, slowing down and cocking her head at him. Smacking an ungraceful hand to her face, she does a pretty poor job of brushing it clear of the stray red hairs that escaped her pig tails. She does it once more, scrunches her nose in thought and starts bouncing again. "Tata!" She's all loud noises and giggles, bouncing excitedly while she kicks her legs.

"Yeah, yeah, I missed him to." Placing Mikayla on the ground beside him, he makes quick work of getting the door unlocked, pushing it open so she can scamper inside. Surprising no one, his daughter high steps in into the house and follows a magnetic-like attraction towards Mickey. Ian can't help but laugh at that fact because she may look pretty identical to Mickey but she definitely inherited that quality from him. "Hey, Mick. We're home." It's a knee-jerk announcement, because his boyfriend definitely already knows that. He hears and "oouff" come from the direction of the couch and Ian can only assume their daughter has just launched herself at Mickey. "I'm gonna wash up real quick," he yells over his shoulder on his way to the bathroom. There's a generic sound of acknowledgment coming from Mickey that Ian catches just before he shuts the door behind him.

It isn't until he's finished washing his hands and he's drying them on the towel beside the sink that he notices the plastic sticks in the waste bin. His stomach sinks because he doesn't have to look at them to know they're negative. He just knows. Mickey was withdrawn today which could be for any number of reasons but now pieces are fitting together for Ian. With a twist to his gut, Ian picks up the two pregnancy tests and looks at them. They're both negative, one more glaringly obvious than the other, and he lets them fall back into the bin. "Shit."

He wonders how long he can procrastinate by staying locked in the bathroom. Sooner or later it's going to be obvious that he's been missing for too long. It's not that he doesn't want to support Mickey, he's just running out of ways to do that. And Mickey's getting prickly about being called out for pretending he doesn't care.

They've found themselves in a weird place and Ian wasn't sure he would believe they'd be here if they hadn't in fact landed here. It feels so glaringly adult of them and while he knows he is in fact an adult, it's still strange. They've tried their entire lives to not have a kid and now it's almost exclusively what their actions and thoughts are circling around.

It's so easy for other people - he's seen it be so easy for other people - but he and Mickey have never been other people. That's why he figures they will get there eventually, but not necessarily in the easiest way.

And he wants another kid. God, does he. But he wants Mickey back even more than that because his boyfriend's taken self-deprecation to a whole new level. He's still Mickey, but he's moving like he's got something to be ashamed for. It's so far from the truth that it makes Ian's head spin but god forbid they actually talk about it.

Ian need to take a minute to collect himself. His own brain is having a hard time settling on how he's feeling. Does he care too much or does he care too little? How is he supposed to feel? He's been getting better at this but with so much going on in his life it's been difficult. He's spoken to Dr. Pollack about this and his therapist assures him that what they are going through is more common for couples than Ian thinks; that's comforting at least. But the way he's feeling is like an itch under his skin. It's there and it's uncomfortable but he doesn't exactly know why. He figures part of it has to do with the fact that he's kept a lot of these domestic wants bottled up in his youth for fear of being ragged on by his peers or even his family. And now they're just so there and he's surprised he and Mickey have grown so much.