Chp 8: Retrogression

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When he wakes up, Mickey knows he's alone in the bed for two reasons. He's not being pinned down weight of Ian's octopus limbs as often happens. When he rolls over, his cheek lands on Ian's exceedingly cool feeling pillow. The room is quiet – the baby monitor is quiet – and he cracks one eye open to see the time on the bedside clock.

6:48

Way too early for him to get his ass out of bed when it's his off day, but here he is, awake and the grasp he had on sleep retreating faster than he can catch it again. He grumbles from the back of his throat and cat stretches so that his limbs comically stretch out from his center. Once done, his fingers find their way to scratch lazily at the exposed skin along the waistband of his boxers.

"Hey," Mickey whispers to his belly. "You going to be nice to me today?" He asks before shaking his head. It still shocks him that he talks to the baby. He'd held off doing that with Mikayla, but this time around it was almost immediate. Maybe it's foolish, but Mickey likes talking to this kid. He doesn't know if it registers on a fetal level at the moment, but it helps Mickey put things in perspective. Yeah, he feels like shit, but at least there is a pretty damn good reason for it.

It isn't until he pushes himself up into a seated position that he realizes his stomach is actually waking up with the faintest stirrings of hunger. Humming, he thinks he could definitely go along with that. He'll probably be sick later but he's feeling pretty good at the current moment. And if these are the hours his body wants to play along during pregnancy, then it's worth getting up earlier than intended.

When he leaves the bedroom, he realizes it isn't only the bed that seems empty. The house is silent and there is no sign of Ian. A quick shift of his gaze and Mickey can see Ian's running shoes are missing too, which answers that question. Ian's been running a lot and it's all well and good but sometimes Mickey feels like that's a part of Ian's life he doesn't really have a window into. He knows why Ian runs, which is exactly why he's borderline concerned at the moment. The fact that he's running more is a clear signal that he's stressed. But it's also a sign that he's doing his part to keep it in check. Still, Mickey hates himself for walking into the bathroom and checking on Ian's medications. They are all there; all partially used and up to date on prescriptions. He has to remind himself that he isn't checking up on Ian because he doesn't trust him, but because he needs something tangible to settle the worry swirling in his brain.

Ian says he's fine and Mickey wants to believe him. But Mickey's been guilty of claiming to be okay when he most definitely was not. They're both too prone to trying to protect each other from stress. Mickey thinks it might be their worst trait, now that they've weeded through all the other little hang-ups they had when they first properly got together.

Exiting the room, he decides to peek in on Mikayla before making something to eat. Her bedroom door is open a crack and Mickey is completely silent when he steps inside. He's not expecting it but it brings an immediate smile to his face when he sees that Mikayla is wide awake, content to be doing her version of baby yoga and stretching out in her crib. She's quiet as a mouse and it's only when she sees her father that she makes a happy exclamation.

"Morning baby girl. You can't sleep either?" Reaching down, Mickey plucks her out of the crib and she clings to him like a leech. She smells like bone deep familiarity at this point, soft and warm. Mickey can't help but breathe her in when the drops a kiss to her head. "You hungry princess?"

"Mik,"she chirps, making a first around the fabric of her father's shirt.

It is always mik, or Mick, or Mic, in this household, but this time, Mikayla means "milk" and Mickey knew that before he even asked.

He makes his way to the kitchen and manages balancing her on one hip while he fixes her a bottle. It's a little cumbersome moving around the kitchen that way and also pout himself a bowl of cereal, but Mikayla doesn't give any indication that she's willing to budge. He sits them both down at the kitchen table, managing to raise spoonfuls of cereal over her head and into his mouth while she makes quick work of chugging done her bottle. It's quiet in the kitchen, just the two of them, but Mickey's brain is a wealth of activity. There is so much to be done at the store and Mickey will not allow him to think that is too much, that they are in over their heads.

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