Cadence ( Part 2 of Rhythm ) Completed*

Chp 11: Revolve

Dr. Pollack may have been the one to say the words out loud but the idea had been in Ian's head long before that. And he knows, based on the feelings in his gut, in-patient treatment is the right move. He knows because he doesn't care about anything – anything – except Mickey and Mikayla. All the things that have been on the docket, the things swirling around on his list of responsibilities and things he had a reason to wake up for and work for...all of those things just don't exist for him at the moment. They're gone.

Logistically, they are still there. Of course they are. But Ian doesn't have the capacity to feel them.

All he cares about is Mickey and Mikayla. His love for them is strong enough that it's somehow figuring out a way to tread water in the sea of uncertainty that is his brain. It's fighting hard because all Ian knows right now is the look on Mikayla's face when he snapped at his daughter the way he had. It's the fact that she wouldn't look at him without the protective veil of peering at him through Mandy's hair. She said "bye-bye" to him but it's because she's a good girl who did as she was told, not an organic reaction.

But he also knows Mickey's touch, and the way his boyfriend has a protective hand gently placed on the back of Ian's neck, thumb running comforting circles along the exposed skin. He knows what it means when Mickey's jaw locks and his throat constricts in a pained swallow; that it's the only thing getting Mickey through not breaking down on the outside the way that he is internally. And he knows – is dead certain of it – how much Mickey loves him because he's holding on hard enough for both of them. He knows all of these things and he's thankful for the lingering kiss Mickey places into his rumpled mess of hair when Dr. Pollack secures him a spot for short term in-patient treatment. It's a few weeks, but he agrees to it. He needs it. Everyone is in agreement that his medication isn't doing what it should and he needs a reboot. Detox off the old stuff, wean onto the new stuff.

Just a few weeks with people who can monitor him more closely.

A few weeks where he doesn't have to worry about being a burden or drive himself more crazy with worry about fucking Mikayla up.

It won't solve everything but he'll be pointed in the right direction and he's not intimidated by the work and effort he has to put in getting the rest of the way there. He's done it before, and he has even more of a reason to do it again.

It's still all a blur for him at the moment, but Mickey has him. Like he promised again and again. Mandy has Mikayla and, even in his screwed up brain, he's thankful that the woman came at just the right time in so many ways. Everything is shelved for the day except Mickey and the way he's packed him a duffle bag and he's dropping him off but he's not really letting go. He's static and stuck and pulling Ian into a hug.

Ian lets himself be drawn into it, finding enough energy to hug back, to meet Mickey's magnetic pull with something in the same category. He's not able to pull him as close as he usually can and he's reminded of the baby taking up space in Mickey's swollen middle. The curve presses solidly against him and Ian shudders. "I'll be okay," he manages to get out.

"Of course you will," Mickey mumbles into Ian's neck. "And I'm fucking visiting you. Every day if you want me too. Or not that much if you don't. And that's fine. It's fine," He repeats, pulling away and cupping Ian's cheek, letting his hand stay there for a breath. "It's fine."

"Nah, I want you to visit Mick." It's all Ian ever really wants, even when he can't put it into a concrete idea.

"I'll bring princess."

"Don't," Ian sighs, sad eyes looking away from blue ones. "She'll be too scared."

"Are you fucking kidding? That kid is fearless. And she's going to be driving me crazy asking for daddy." Mickey turns Ian's face back towards him. "Hey, listen. Trust me okay? I won't bring her if I don't think she'll be okay. Just trust me."