I will can it a SMART phone the day I yell "Where the hell is my phone?" and it answers "I am here, down the back of the sofa!"
I am not rude, I just what not everyone has the courage to say.
I am not saying you are stupid, I am just saying that you've got bad luck when it comes to thinking.
Instead of calling my toilet 'John' I call it 'Jim' so I can say that I go to the 'Jim' at least twice a day.
Me? Normal? How dare you insult me like that!
I never use the turn signal cause its nobody's business where I'm freaking going.
Women are not moody. We just have days when we are are less inclined to put up with your shit.
Don't you wish some people would start using glue instead of lipstick?
Life is short, SMILE while you still have teeth.
I am not fat I am just easy to see.
I am cursed with expensive taste and a non existent budget.
Why is it "Beauty Sleep" when you wake up looking like a troll?
I took your advice to dance like no one was watching and sing like no one was listening. Thanks for that. I have my court date next week.
I'd lose weight but I hate losing..
Behind every successful woman is herself.
I am so old I can LAUGH, COUGH SNEEZE & PEE at the same time.
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A/N: Sorry for the late update guys. Hope you like this chapter tho.
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:) xx
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