After Tuesday even the calender goes W T F.
Hey, I'll be back in five minutes if I am not, read the message again.
I hate it when people see me in the supermarket and they are like "Hey! What are you doing here?" and I am just like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
Don't like me? Cool, cause I don't wake up everyday to impress you.
"Did you just fall?" "No, I attacked the floor?" "Backwards?" "I am freaking talented!"
Its weird how people tell me to be quiet when I am loud, but when I am quiet people ask what is wrong with me.
______
D. dumb
R. retards
A. asking for
M. more
A. attention.
_____
Only two things can change a woman's mood: "I love you!" and 50% discount.
Sorry I can't today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died today, and yeah it was tragic!
I tried to be normal once, worst 5 minutes of my life.
Respect your parents, they passed school without Google.
With great power gets great electricity bills.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
God made every person different, he got tired when he got to China. (No offense, its just a joke. (= )
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
A jealous woman does a better research than FBI.
Laughing so hard, no sound is coming out, so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
Follow your heart but take your brain with you.
I was born intelligent but education ruined me.
Yes officer, I did see the 'speed limit' sign but I didn't see you.
Listening to strangers' conversations and giving your mental opinion.
_____________________________
A/N: Aaaaannndd a new Chapter! Taadaaaa! Hope you liked it!!
Vote and Comment prettiest please!
Hugs and Chocolates,
:) xx
YOU ARE READING
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