Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy
Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.
Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed
Q: Why is there a gate around cemetaries?
A: Because people are dying to get in!
Q: Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?
A: Because he was a little shellfish
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta
Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it's pointless.
Q: What do call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
A: It was two-tired!
Q: Why did the barber win the race?
A: Because he took a short cut.
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
A: Ten-tickles
Q: Where do boats go when they get sick?
A: The dock
Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?
A: A trum-pet!
Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A: A heavy discussion
Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
A: Firecrackers!
Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
A: Look grandpa, no hands!
Q: What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
A: The Space bar!
Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!
Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was out-standing in his field.
Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
A: Oh Snap!
Q: What did one hat say to another?
A: You stay here, I'll go on a head
Q: What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?
A: You're too young to smoke!
Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A. Sue
Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
A. I just love baskin' robins.
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!
Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone!
Q: What did the horse say when he fell?
A: Help, I've fallen and I can't giddy up!
Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
A: All of the fans left
Q: What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
A: Reality
Q: Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
A: He takes things personally.
Q: How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?
A: Bring her flours.
Q: Where do cows hang their paintings?
A: In the mooo-seum.
Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transport?
A: Wait at a buzz stop!
Q: What did the fashion police officer say to his sweater?
A: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Q: What do you call a group of unorganized cats?
A: A Cat-astrophe
Q: Why did the frog take the bus to work?
A: His car got toad.
Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid!
Q: What do they call cans in Mexico?
A: Mexi-cans
Q: What's the most musical part of a chicken?
A: The drumstick
Q: What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
A: A Bagel
Q: What did the red light say to the green light?
A: Don't look, I'm changing!
Q: Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?
A: Because he was on a roll.
Q: What would Bears be without Bees?
A: Ears
Q: Why did the poor man sell yeast?
A: To raise some dough.
Q: How do snails fight?
A: They slug it out.
Q: Why are penguins socially awkward?
A: Because they can't break the ice.
Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance?
A: They go to the meat-ball
Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
A: Sneakers
Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Q: What do you get when you put your radio in the fridge?
A: Cool Music.
Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: Because it held up a pair of pants!
Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on?
A: Bare-foot.
Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?
A: So he could have sweet dreams.
Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Q: What did the penny say to the other penny?
A: We make perfect cents.
Q: How do you find a Princess?
A: You follow the foot Prince
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
A: Remorse code.
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HumorHola Amigos! If you wanna see something that'll knock you off your broomstick you might as well read this! :) This book will have loads of hilarious stuff that might make a fall off the bed clutching your tummy, laughing! :D Comebacks, Jokes, Pick...
